Back to School Campaign (Madame Media Deals)

I participated in the back to school campaign from Madame Deals Media. The BTS campaign was also sponsored by Campus Book Rentals.

Campus Book Rentals is a company that offers students up to 90% off their textbooks! It not only allows students to save money, it helps students make money by providing services for students to rent out their textbooks to other students. Campus Book Rentals has been around since 2007, and continues to help students live a more affordable life. Campus Book Rentals is proud to sponsor such an amazing pay it forward event!

I received $25 dollars on my PayPal Card (love my paypal card) to purchase supplies. I bought my supplies yesterday from my favorite store, HEB, making sure not to go over because my pay pal card, only had $34 dollars. I can go over but not too much over.

My costs of Items:

Scissors: 1.97

Pencils .97

Pink Eraser .59
Pens (2 packs) 1.98
Crayola Crayons (2 packs) 1.00
Highlighters .99
Pencil Pouch 2.45

Water colors 1.08

Color Pencils. 50
School Glue .50
Clear, plastic folders (3) 1.50
Notebook. College ruled paper. (2) .40
Notebook Wide ruled Paper (2): .40
Note book .20
College Ruled paper .82
Wide Ruled paper .82
Multi method primary paper 1.79
Backpack $5
Total: $24.91 before Taxes.

I am not sure what I saved on supplies, since I bought groceries too. All of it was on the same receipt. I saved 19.76 total but not sure how much was groceries and how much was school supplies. I do know that supplies at the grocery store was cheaper than the supplies I got at Wal-Mart last week.

My idea for giving away the supplies:

I don't go anywhere, except Church, the store, and appointments for the kids, but wanted to participate in the campaign. The best place I can help a child, without going through too much trouble to get there (since I have no car) is church.

When I went to church on August 4th, I discussed this campaign with Brad's special needs teacher. Kim should know of one kid, who needs supplies. If she did not, I would have spoken to the director of the children's department. For me, when I have something to give away, I think of the church first or craigslist. Since joining my church a year ago, I have given baby food, clothing, ipad cases, formula, etc, without expecting anything in return. My family also has been blessed with clothes from the church. I love a good hand-me down. Shoot, I love a bad hand-me-down, because I can alter it or use it for cleaning or arts and crafts (when I do them. Bought some tye dye supplies from WallyWorld recently, but have not used them yet).

The Special Needs Class stuck out because sometimes, SPED Parents, are low on funds. I know I am, but my kids got everything they need for the month. Ms. Kim said bring the backpack filled with supplies on Sunday and we will give it to a random kid in Brad's class. Yay, that was a good idea.

Now sometimes when you get a good idea, it is best to keep that good idea to yourself. As I mentioned on Perfect Chaos, A relative wanted me to keep the supplies for my kids, even though they don't need them. I bought Brad a few supplies during the first week of August. I also buy supplies as needed. From what I learnt, since Brad moved to Texas, do not buy supplies until the teacher or assignment specifically asks for them. In addition to sometimes the SPED classes gets a modified list. After all, my child do not need to work with sharp scissors, let alone need a pen or highlighter to do his work. Brad is still in that crayon, marker, and glue stage. Kalen starts school next year, but will be in pre-k for developmental disabilities plus head start. Anyway, on Sunday, I gave the bag of supplies, plus two brand new toothbrushes to Brad's teacher at church. I don't know who ended up with the bag, but I was glad to help.

Why was I blessed with two special needs children?

Why Was I blessed with two special needs children:

I been asking myself this question, since Brad was diagnosed. Why was I chosen to handle this task. I thought again about this question in church today, while Dr. Walter Larimore was speaking. I was not blessed with two normal kids or 1 normal and 1 special needs kids. I was blessed with a 12 year old, Autistic, ADHD, sensory issues, currently pre-pubescent child. I was also blessed with a 20 month old, no talking, no walking, fine motor delays child. These are the thoughts I jotted down.

I am not normal.  I do not understand normal people. I am an outcast. I know what it is like to be excluded. I like things in a certain order, in a certain way, at certain times. I don't like extra disruptions (maybe I got ADHD too). My mind wanders through millions of thoughts daily. I am a misunderstood, creative soul.

I don't know exactly why God blessed me with my boys. I was the child (and adult), who never thought about having kids. I did not want them, yet I had four pregnancies and two live births. Kids irritated me immensely. Some talk too much. I am a loner, an introvert. Not a people person.

I had to learn to love and protect my babies, despite my non-existent maternal instinct I used to have. In fact, people, who have multiple kids, and seem to have a balance on life, are my heroes. I admire you. Here is my salute.

Dr. Larimore discussed how God gave special parents a gift--which we need to unwrap. We need to love, appreciate, and teach our special kids. We also need to teach them about God and help them discover their talents. The kids can also teach me patience, understanding, love, sympathy, caring, appreciation, hope, and joy. The kids can also teach me not to take life too seriously.

Stains on the floor will happen. Even immediately after I clean the floor. One of my kids will pee or spill food or juice on the floor.

My room will not stay mostly clean.

I will always find food hidden behind bookcases, cribs, beds, computers, tv stands, etc.

I may never get a full night's sleep.

I will spend multiple days per month in therapies and dr.'s offices, with no energy in the tank.

I will be changing diapers for a long, long, time.

I may have to give up control over things.

Getting angry at the kids and myself DOES NOT help.

1/20/13. Dr. Walter Larimore

Today at Fallbrook Church, the church invited Dr. Walter Larimore to speak today. He is an ADHD specialist. Some things I learned today include: (regular service and Sunday school notes combined)

1. Some kids have been painted over with a mask. Keeps you from seeing who they really are. 
2. ADHD kids have multi-track cognition
3. ADHD kids have awareness of surroundings
4. ADHD kids search for stimulation
5. ADHD is not a learning disorder. It is not a myth. It is not caused by bad parenting. 
6. ADHD kids are not retarded or lazy. 
7. ADHD does not mean disaster.
8. The true measure of success occurs when your kids find their passion. 
9. 
   

5 Tips for handling ADHD children:

1. Put God First- People run to the internet, books, and other people first, but don't consider allowing God to tell you what tod do. Psalms 50:15 says to Call on God in times of trouble and God will deliver you. 
2. Love your children unconditionally. Your child is a gift from God. Your kids are filled with energy, spontaneous, alert to changes, or even have a novel approach to problem solving. 
3. Get right diagnosis and educate self. Get the right diagnosis. Some doctors are quick to diagnose children with ADHD and other behavioral issues. Then, educate self on your children's issues. 
4. Seek wise counsel: Seek out other parents. Learn from each other. Share successes and mistakes. Pray for each other. Seek out counseling from psychologists, if needed. 
5. Pick a coach to help you: Pick a coach for guidance and information. My first coaches were Saffiyah and Crystal (Rest in Peace). Saffy and Crystal were the first Autistic parents I met. I thought I was alone in this. Saffy and Crystal have been a tremendous help over the years. 

Balanced Parenting: In Sunday School, Larimore presented this model of parenting

ABC                                                                                                                           D

___________________________________________________________________________

                                                                   /\

A-Affirmation: Be the best cheerleader for your kids. This requires both parents. If both parents are not available, find good people to influence your children

B-Blameless Love-Love your children unconditionally. They do not need to earn your love

C-Connection: Develop a connection with your kids. Spend quality time with them. Consider quantity of time as well. There is no quality without quantity. The children need a connection with three people: 

1. Parents
2. Friends
3. Creator

D-Demandingness. Discipline. ADHD kids need discipline. structure. discipleship. Don't use the 1-2-3 method because Kids will learn they do not have to stop until you count to three. 

Parents, who are ABC parents, are golden retriever parents. They want to be the kids friends. They bribe the children. Parents, who are D parents can be too authoritarian, militaristic. Grizzly Bears. Parents need to strive to find balance. Find a support group. Get away from time to time to recharge, without the kids. Find a babysitter and take a night out. Develop a closer relationship with God. 

Getting Better in Parenting Two

Getting Better in Parenting Part Two

• Troubled Kids is an ancient problem

1. Jacob (Israel) had four wives. Rachel had trouble conceiving. Jacob did love Rachel. 
2. Adam and Eve had to bury a child. 
3. 
   
4. Troubled kids have been around forever. God been helping parents forever. We run to everyone else but God. We need to know what God wants us to do with our kids. 
5. 
   
6. Drinking, fornication, and dis-respectfulness occurred in biblical days too. 

• Trouble in the house don't have to ruin the house. 

1. Reuben had sex with father's concubine
2. Simeon and Levi were mass murderers. 
3. Jacob's sons started the 12 tribes of Israel. 
4. Don't let troubled child influence the other children
5. Porn, drugs, and alcohol usually introduced by family members. 
6. Don't let anything foreign or domestic to hinder home. 
7. Example: If you go to the store to buy pork chops, and there are maggots on the chops, do you still buy the chops? No, you want fresh chops, instead of maggot (sin-filled) chops. 
8. Make strategic decisions concerning kids. If you know your child drinks, don't leave him around the youngest. 

• Trouble should be addressed

Part A: Addressing the truth

1. Tell children the truth about themselves. The unadulterated truth. No ballerina, tip-toeing around the truth. 
2. Jacob went from general to specific, when addressed his kids. he was transparent. 
3. truth with love can be liberating
4. Remember the three B words: Bad, Belt, Bottom. Leroy was bad. He needs a belt on his bottom :-)
5. Tell kids their behavior is bad and unacceptable. 

Part B: Truth about consequences

1. Tell them what they aint gonna be if they do wrong. 
2. It's a sin to know the right thing and do not do it. 
3. There are different paths to being a bum. What are we going to do if we see kids on that path?
4. Parents are scared to tell kids what's coming. Let them know what happens if they don't change lives. 
5. People should help with the kids, but there is no replacement for the bible. 

Getting Better in Parenting: Order in the House

Pastor Mike discussed having Order in the House, in this month's series on Parenting. The lesson focused on Authority: established authority; sensible authority; regulatory authority; nurturing; and instructional authority.

• Established Authority

1. Clear, established authority
2. How kids treat us is how they will treat others
3. Homes need a big parental authority. 
4. Small parenting equates to likability. Parents want to be liked. Parents want to be cool
5. Morals and opinions should not change, based on public opinion
6. We will still be in slavery if there was a public opinion poll. Parents will not always be liked

• Sensible Authority

1. Be sensible and not irrational. Do before thinking.
2. Don't provoke kids to anger
3. Don't be overly protective
4. Do think about actions. Can cause disrespect and withdrawal

• Nurturing Authority

1. Parents are responsible for spiritual and physical nourishment. 
2. Parents are also responsible for secular education and intellectual development. 
3. Can not blame development on school system or church or other third parties. 
4. Parents can develop own methods to teach kids
5. Parents are also responsible for kids health and social development.
6. Kids need balanced development. 
7. If you think your kids are doing good, don't brag, but give Glory to God. You don't know what the kids are doing behind your back. 

• Regulatory Authority

1. Be a regulator, not a follower
2. Set up boundaries
3. You control the rhythm and the flow of your house

• Instructional Authority

1. Identify false information
2. Stop and explain false information
3. May have to change child's teachers to prevent false information
4. Children need to obey parents. They are not that cute and funny. 
5. Stop laughing at stuff they do if they are wrong
6. Determine what type of information you are giving to the kids. 
7. Monitor information you are giving your kids.
8. Explain biblical stuff even when government or social and cultural norms says different. For example, the bible says homosexuality is wrong but social norms say different. 
9. Don't assume kids will know the difference between truthful and false information
10. The bible is the governing document

God's plans for the wealthy and powerful Part III

God's Plans for the wealthy and powerful Part III


Compulsory Plans for wealth and Power: Exodus 3:10;19-21, 5:2

King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.)
Come now therefore, and I will send thee unto Pharaoh, that thou mayest bring forth my people the children of Israel out of Egypt.

Exodus 3:19-21
New International Version (NIV)
19 But I know that the king of Egypt will not let you go unless a mighty hand compels him. 20 So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go.

21 “And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed.

Notes:

-God can use people, even if they oppose it
-The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof

Compulsory Frustration Plans

Exodus 3:20

Exodus 3:20
New International Version (NIV)
20 So I will stretch out my hand and strike the Egyptians with all the wonders that I will perform among them. After that, he will let you go.

Ecc 2:26

26 To the person who pleases him, God gives wisdom, knowledge and happiness, but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering and storing up wealth to hand it over to the one who pleases God. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

-God sent plagues to Pharaoh
-Some folks got stuff and frustrated. They are vain and their stuff flows through the wind. (no meaning and purpose to their lives).
-Some people think stuff will bring happiness
-Can not experience fullness of life if rebel agaisnt God
-People do not always focus on things money can not buy, like Love.
-You can experience Love in Singleness and enjoy it in Happiness
-Some women/men think that if they buy him or her stuff, him or her will love them (DELUSIONAL).
-If depending on things to do something, other than its intended purpose, you are DELUSIONAL. Houses are meant for living. Shoes and hair are to look good. A house can not repair a relationship, raise kids, or fellowship. TVs do not always bring togetherness.

Compulsory Reallocation Plans
-Exodus 3:21-22

Exodus 3:21-22
New International Version (NIV)
21 “And I will make the Egyptians favorably disposed toward this people, so that when you leave you will not go empty-handed. 22 Every woman is to ask her neighbor and any woman living in her house for articles of silver and gold and for clothing, which you will put on your sons and daughters. And so you will plunder the Egyptians.”


-Job 27:16-17
Job 27:16-17
New International Version (NIV)
16 Though he heaps up silver like dust
and clothes like piles of clay,
17 what he lays up the righteous will wear,
and the innocent will divide his silver.

-God's plans to reallocate Egypt's wealth to Israel
-Slaves helped rebuild Egypt. Sweat and labor deserved compensation
-Some folks still waiting on their 40 acres and a mule, but did not work for it
-The bible supports reallocation in cases of injustice, but not cases of irresponsibility.

Proverbs 13:22 Proverbs 13:22
New International Version (NIV)
22 A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children,
but a sinner’s wealth is stored up for the righteous

-The wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous
-God is in the business of blessing people
-May not know how God works but he will get it done;
-Church called to make disciples from irresponsible and the reprehensible. Love them with Jesus and empower them with Godly wisdom.
-Don't squander position of wealth and power with irresponsibility. For example, the church (Fallbrook Church) will not pay cable and telephone. Some things benevolence should not pay for (luxury items).
-having wealth is not evil. The people, who use the wealth, can be evil. The love of money is evil. All wealth belongs to the Lord (Psalms 24:1)

Psalm 24

Of David. A psalm.

1 The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it;

Finish Commitments by Michael Pender

These are my notes from the meeting in church on Sunday. But I need to post how I arrived in this meeting first:

went to sunday school on sunday. got to the classroom. it was locked. one of the workers said go back to the sanctuary, the pastor is going to give the SS lesson. went back to the sanctuary (where I just left) to attend the class. turns out it was not SS but a staff meeting (ushers, deacons, teachers, nursery workers, etc). was going to leave but Pastor Mike said the meeting applied to everyone, whether you attend sunday school or a parent or a youth, wanting to be a leader. so, Stacie learned about commitment and how you supposed to keep your commitments, no matter what, even during a storm. I am unmotivated to complete the masters project because i don't see the money to head to Phoenix. but I need to complete it because I made a commitment to myself (and the school). and the interesting part was, normally, i sit with Kalen in nursery during SS because he cries a lot (separation anxiety) BUT this Sunday, he was playing in the cribs and was acting good for a change. If Boy 2 was crying, I would have missed this message.

Notes:

Finishing Commitments Acts 20:17-24

17 From Miletus, Paul sent to Ephesus for the elders of the church. 18 When they arrived, he said to them: “You know how I lived the whole time I was with you, from the first day I came into the province of Asia. 19 I served the Lord with great humility and with tears and in the midst of severe testing by the plots of my Jewish opponents. 20 You know that I have not hesitated to preach anything that would be helpful to you but have taught you publicly and from house to house. 21 I have declared to both Jews and Greeks that they must turn to God in repentance and have faith in our Lord Jesus.

22 “And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. 23 I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. 24 However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the good news of God’s grace.

1. God does not force people to do ministry. We volunteer to work for God.
2. Faith helps us finish commitments.
3. We may not know all troubles, which will occur, but we still need to finish.
4. Pristine conditions are not prerequisites to finish commitments
5. Adverse situations should never hinder us from following commitments.
6. We need to honor commitments involving money and finances.

Overcoming fear: Acts 20: 22-23

1. Fear is an enemy of finishing
2. If live in fear, can not grow (the church and the individual)
3. Fear reminds us of things we miss. For example, you miss sex, but you not supposed to have premarital sex anyway. :-)

Duty to finish commitments Acts: 20: 22
1. Paul traveled to Jerusalem, even during threats, to complete assignments. He was compelled to finish his God-assigned tasks.
2. Start honoring commitments at home, if you want to grow in church. Can hurt your ministry.

Stewardship Acts 20:24

1. Stewardship requires faithfulness
2. Can't grow by doing the same things.

God's plans for the wealthy and powerful II

God's Plans for the Wealthy and Powerful Part II by Michael Pender

First Timothy 6: 17-19

1 Timothy 6:17-19
New International Version (NIV)
17 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18 Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. 19 In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life.


Enjoyment plans:
1. It is normal to want to enjoy God's blessings
2. you are not supposed to give all your stuff to the Lord
3. You are working against spiritually if you don't enjoy your blessings.
4. You should not feel guilt if God blesses you more than others. Don't question it. Give God the praise.

Compliance plans
1. God has no issues with you having a position of power or authority, as long as you comply with his word.
2. We need to be humble with our stuff. We should not be conceited or selfish.
3. We need to examine how we act with stuff.
4. There is a difference between enjoying stuff and flaunting stuff.
5. Some people like to tell others about everything they got. You can get robbed.

Be hopeful in God and not your stuff

1. Some people will trust in wealth and power, instead of God.
2. Some people will trust their stuff more than the God, who gave them the stuff.
3. Lean on god to bring you happiness and joy.

Be a conduit with your stuff
1. Share your stuff. Be a blessing to others.
2. God blesses you for being obedient. For example, if God tells you to help the homeless. If you don't want to give money, keep a soda or non-perishables in your car.
3. If church is a conduit, the mindset changes to one of sharing and giving.

God's plans for the wealthy and powerful

Today, My pastor (Michael Pender, Fallbrook Church)discussed God's plans for the wealthy and powerful. He discussed three ways to create wealth and power: diligence, favor, and inheritance. Some things which stood out:

God is not afraid of wealth and power

God wants Christians in board rooms to make decisions for a Christian perspective

Not all wealth and power is evil

Sometimes Christians settle for the secular world to make life-decisions.

We have enough believers (church going and non church going) to have a bigger representation in political decisions.

Believers can shift the paradigm.

If you think you are broke, then you can never have wealth (mindset). (wealth, an overflow above life's necessities).

You can not spend how you want if you want to be wealthy.

Diligence

No substitute for diligence at work.

There is no easy path or shortcuts to excellence. If you want something badly, you need to work for it.

You can not get envious or angry at those, who worked for what they got, when you did not.

Diligence without wisdom is foolish.

Anything God created is not designed to be lazy.

You can not get envious or angry at someone, who works hard for what they got, when you do not.

Diligence without wisdom causes foolishness.

All pursuits won't get you wealth and power. You may want to be a rapper, but you may not make enough money to live on. Some rappers are still living at home, with their mama. Your arts may not pay your bills.

Some people live for the weekends. They look at Monday to Friday as an inconvenience. They only work to live a weekend lifestyle. You work all week to give all your money to a stripper. You better off to play the lottery (not endorsing it though) than to give your money to a naked woman.

Monday to Friday needs to be a Colossians 3:17

17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

If you work diligently, God will elevate you. You don't have to wear yourself out to gain wealth. Do it for the Lord and not for yourself.

To transform your work situation: Work harder and complain less.

Some folks can not enjoy God's blessings because they are always at work.

Favor

If you find favor, You will have favor in the eyes of God and man.

Favor is based on obedience.

Inheritance

Ensures kids will become productive

Sometimes pulling self up by bootstraps has more importance in society than inheriting something.

No matter how you obtain your wealth, someone helped you get it.

If you leave it to your kids, you don't need to offer apologies. If someone gets mad, you are dead anyway. :-)

Come on over to my side

Come on over to my side was the message preached in church on Sunday. I attend Fallbrook Church, pastored by Mike Pender. During each message, I think of ways I can apply the sermon to my life. Come on over to my side applied to my celibacy journey.

The pastor discussed how people don't want to make sacrifices for their walk. People still want to party, drink, have sex. Basically, lead a hedonistic lifestyle. Our lives are filled with unlimited indulgence, which takes priority over God. Yet, our fleshly cravings are temporal, meaningless. We are still lonely, empty, and our hearts may be hardened.

Sex used to be satisfying to me, but I developed an addiction for more. More men, more toys, more masturbation, more toys. I wanted more and I got more. The more I got, the less emotions I put towards me. I didn't care about them, no more than they cared about me. Sex was a short-time pleasure. I had more one-night stands than repeats. I didnt care about them-men was just a penis to me. Yet I was still lonely, still empty inside. My heart hardened more towards men folks (and I still have issues, I am working out.)

The pastor discussed how fun was fleeting, temporary. If we live our lives for fun, we will have trouble. We can not depend on fun to be satisfied in the Lord. Nothing will bring us happiness, like God can. If we give ourselves to want and pleasure, it causes death, even while living. I was dead inside. I cared more about the next orgasm, the next toy, the next penis, than I did the man.

People are exhausted. We use temporary pleasures to relieve pain, but the pain is still there. I had sex for fun, for pleasure, for attention, for a place to stay, for money, for love, to relieve boredom, etc. but all that sex with all those men was not good for me in the long run. It hurts to think about my sex count or some of the bad experiences. For example, I used to stay in the projects. After 11 pm, the family I was staying with, locked the screen doors. If I was not coming home from work or school, I sometimes could not get in the house. Anyway, this dude wanted to have sex. I said yes. Told him, I would have to spend the night because I may not get back in my house. He said cool. Turns out, he had to go to work at 3 am. I had to wait in the dark, at the nearest train station, from 3 something to 445, to catch a train to get home. I was scared and I deleted his number. Situations like this made me despise men, in general more (not all men, just some). Yet, i started having sex more during the mornings and afternoons, instead of nites. Nights were reserved for long-time repeat fucks, who wouldnt try to leave me stranded or in similar situations. Men, I trusted more. I was a mess.

Currently, I have been celibate for almost 2 years. I have not watched porn in almost a year. I still struggle with sexual thoughts and masturbation (but not as much as I used to ). I am also taking a purity course for porn addiction. I want to be better, get better, and grow in the Lord.

I need a job

I am completing from the Center for Development at my Church. The course is teaching job related skills such as networking, financial management, health and wellness, and education. Once completed, I will receive a certificate of completion and the church will help me find a job, provided that:

1. I have transportation to get to work-I don't live on the bus line and I don't want to depend on my mother every day.
2. I need day care for two special needs kids. Brad is not pot trained, not fully verbal, and has daily , multiple meltdowns. Kalen does not walk or talk and has fine motor delays.
3. I need a learning coach for Brad's home school to teach him during the day and I can finish up at nite.

The course will be good for my resume but not sure if I can get a job right now.

Uriah and Loyalty Part II

Pastor Pender discussed Uriah and Loyalty again this Sunday. Uriah had to explain his loyalty, was tested for his loyalty, and was exploited for his loyalty. First, Uriah had to explain his loyalty to God to a king, who backslid. David liked to party, drink, and have sex. He did not understand where Uriah was currently at. David did not understand why after a battle, Uriah did not want to go home to his wife. Loyalty to something can cause others to feel uncomfortable and out of their element. Sometimes when you are loyal to something, like celibacy or a marriage, loyalty can bring out the worst in people. People may not like you any more. People may see you as problem because you deviated from their norm. People want you to do what they are doing.

Next, Uriah was tested. David asked Uriah to stay for two days and then he will release his soldier from something. David invited Uriah to some party, where Uriah had plenty of food and drink. David may have tried to get Uriah drunk to impose his will on Uriah. Uriah still did not go home. He still was dedicated to God. Uriah was a better man drunk than David was sober (Pastor Pender). David tested Uriah so that Uriah will fail. Sometimes people will invite you to partake of something, not because they care, but so they can tell everyone you failed and ruin your testimony.

Finally, Uriah was exploited. David took advantage of Uriah's loyalty. Uriah's loyalty cost him his life. Some people look to pray on others. There are manipulative, deceptive people everywhere.

I don't know where you are in your celibacy journey. I don't know what caused you to take this path. You will have to explain to some people why you are celibate. You will be tested for your beliefs. All sorts of heathens, former sex buddies, wannabe sex buddies will come out of the woodwork. You may have to change your behaviors, attitudes, and approaches to the opposite sex. You may have to delete some phone numbers; delete some pics (others and yours); avoid particular settings; avoid particular conversations; disable/deactivate some websites, and yes avoid some people. But first, you need to know why you chose celibacy. Knowing the reasons why, Knowing your purpose, will keep you more focused. Know your purpose and the rationale and write it down (whether in your phone, in a tablet, in Google Docs, in word). Coming into celibacy is not an easy journey and if you need more support, let me know.

Stacie D. Wyatt
wyattstacie@gmail.com

Uriah and Loyalty

I wrote this piece two weeks ago for a different forum. Now I am posting it here. I started attending FallBrook Church four weeks ago. The church is wonderful. The pastor is a man of God. The messages so far have been truly uplifting. I have been celibate since 2010 for personal reasons. On the internet, there are a lot of forums, groups, websites, where sex is the primary focus. When sex is not your primary focus, not everyone will understand what you are doing because you are moving from the norm. This is encouragement for the celibate folks. Part 2 is coming soon.

May 6, 2012

In church today, the message was on Uriah’s loyalty to God. Uriah was the husband of Bathsheba and was killed in Battle. David was having an affair with Ms. Bathsheba. The pastor discussed how Uriah postponed having pleasure with his wife to serve the Lord. David wanted Uriah to go home, after returning from the field, to lie with his wife, but Uriah obeyed the Lord instead. At that time, David was controlled by sex, pleasure, drinking, and partying. David did not understand Uriah and what Uriah was trying to do. What controls you, consumes you. Sex used to control me. I had little to no moderation. If I went two weeks without sex, I would have withdrawal symptoms. I was cranky, very cranky. I would sleep with whoever just to break the cycle. Now I am almost 2 years into being Celibate. Not everyone will understand the reasons why you chose this lifestyle. You may needed peace of mind; maybe having sex conflicted with your religion; maybe you simply needed a break. People will not understand because sex is one of their primary focuses. The enemy, whoever it may be, will gnaw at you, reminding you of what you used to be or used to do. You may get a text or phone call at 2 a.m. from Him or Her. Him or Her may want to reminisce about the days of old, causing you a weak moment. You may have to let folks go to continue on this journey. If every time he or she contacts you and wants to discuss sex, maybe your relationship needs reconsideration. You do not need exposure to something, which contradicts your current purpose (even if you have to give up porn, erotica, and yes, self-pleasure). This journey of celibacy is a hard journey, with plenty of rocks, mountains, cliffs, forks to cause a quick detour. And if you slip, dust yourself off, and get back up again.   As previously stated, sometimes you have to postpone instantaneous pleasure to obtain what you need mentally and physically, to elevate yourself to the next level.

Stacie D. Wyatt

Morning Frustration

Found me a good church a few weeks back. Has a good special ed program. Nursery. But church van is starting to irk me. First visit. My mother took me and picked me up. Next visit church van. Called and confirmed pick up time. Last week no call no show. Same this week. What's the point of calling for
transportation if no one going show up?


My mother decided to take me to church real quick. The church will provide a way back home, if someone needs one. On the way to church, my mother saw a church van and decided to follow the van to see if it was meant for our house. Keep in mind, the church 10 minutes away and I am almost late. Each van has a list of passengers for pick-up. Instead of honking to determine, she decided to follow the van. The van was meant for my house, (Thank you Jesus). And she did follow it all the way back home. I was very very frustrated at this point. A) No confirmation call from the church. B) Mother said she would take me, but then turned around. C) I hate being late anywhere. I have to walk to the nursery. Sign the kids in. Then Go to church. D) I missed last week because the bus did not show up and it may show signs of a future pattern. 


Anyway, the bus driver was very understanding. He did not know why no one showed up last week. He said he will be my regular driver for this neighborhood. He gave me a time frame for future pick-ups. I got into the church finally, the choir was singing. and then the solo artist (George Something) sung one of my favorite songs (Smokey's Norful's I need you now). The song made me cry and filled my spirit. Not everything will go according to plan or routine. Life has its deviations along the way, but I can not let it frustrate me all the time.