Thursday, April 8, 2021

Today feels weird: The day after: Brad returns home

Today still feels weird. 

Woke up, this morning, with my mind, stayed on Jesus and the fact, my house was still super quiet. No waking up to Brad hitting the walls, doors, and windows. The tv was not turned to Jerry Springer, Paternity Court, or Couples Court. I used to wake up to the news (miss you Eye Opener, Morning Dose, and Newsfix), but now couple drama. 

I, first, woke up at 3 am, out of habit, and rolled back over and went to sleep, after putting my phone, on the charger. It was nice, getting up at 520 am, feeling semi-refreshed, without having to find ways to keep Brad calm for hours, after we both wake up. 

Kalen was calmer too, even though he hit the walls, when he was stretching out. Kalen was also calmer walking to the bus stop, waiting, and while getting on the bus. It was nice not having to try to keep Brad stationed, in one section, away from the other little kids, while waiting for the bus. No trying to keep him from eloping and trying to walk off to the store. No getting hit, pushed, and kicked when I try to stop him. No getting spit on, this morning. 

Yet, I need to know that he did good, last night. That he didn't hit the residential home's doors, windows, and walls. That he didn't wake the staff up between 2-4 am. That he didn't run off and try to elope to the park or some other place, near by. Will he be a fit for a group home, once he is eligible to attend, after the paperwork is done? Will his behavior change, for the better, once he gets back home or will he seriously need residential placement, a few months to a few years from now?

I don't have all the answers. 

Wednesday, April 7, 2021

Today is a weird day

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

Today feels super weird. The house is quieter than normal. The drama is reduced. The house is still a mess though, but I did clean Kalen's play area and set up, a new item for a future product video review.. Brad is gone for the next, few days, during a trial run of residential placement, to see if he can fit into a group home setting, in the future. 

Covid has taken a hit, on everyone. Brad has not responded well to being out of school, so much that I had to call crisis management for myself, multiple times. It felt weird calling, for myself, but I had enough with the daily, multiple, meltdowns. I am sick and tired of my son, hitting the walls, doors, and windows, aa soon as he wakes up, and frequently throughout the day. I am tired of being hit, pushed, kicked, and spit on, on a regular basis. Tired of the holes, in the walls, with exposed insulation and wires. Visiting Home Depot has become a regular thing because they sell sheet rock squares. I also learned how to replace blinds; made my own keys with the self key maker kiosk; and got Kalen a foam, puzzle mat, for his play area. 

Tuesday, March 23, 2021

TronicMaster UVC Light Sanitizer Review (Tomoson)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links.

I received the Tronic Master UV Light Sanitizer, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson. The device sanitizes your items, such as phone, glasses, and keys with UV light, using a usb-c cord (included). The device also doubles as a power bank to charge your phone, tablets, and other items. 

I used the sanitizer, so far, on my glasses and phone, while using the charger to charge my kindle. The sanitizer was easy to use. 

To use, you place your items in the sanitizer; close the lid; and turn on the power button. The sanitization process lasts three minutes, then the blue light turns off when complete. 

I had no issues using the product. You can purchase the sanitizer, on Amazon. The sanitizer is prime-eligible. 

JoyBos Pants Hangers Review (Tomoson)

 Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon affiliate links. 

I received a pair of JoyBos Pants Hangers, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson

I wanted to try and use the pants holders to hold my oldest's pants. He had a pants holder, in the past, but the pants kept falling off the hanger. 

My oldest thinks his pants is a buffet line and wants to try on multiple per day. I keep his pants, either hung up in a closet, or folded in a bin, until he needs one, and then I hand him a fresh, pair of pants. 

I loved the hangers. I was able to hang 2-3 pairs of my son's sweats and scrubs, per rung. I also used the other hanger to hang up, my pants, in the closet. The hangers have held up well and the pants have stayed on. No falling. I definitely can use a few more for my youngest's pants. You can also use the hangers, for other things, you want to hang like shirts or scarves. Many possibilities.

You can buy the hangers, on Amazon.  The hangers are prime-eligible. 


Thursday, March 18, 2021

RecordCast Review (Pearl Mountain Technology)

I reviewed RecordCast, in exchange for honest review from Pearl Mountain Technology. Recordcast is a screen sharing, website, which lets you record your screen, Chrome tabs,  and applications. The website also has a built in editor to edit your footage. 

I am a visual person. I also have people, coming to me, for help, with different things. Screen sharing has helped me do tutorials for Microsoft Office; Google Docs; and help me create tutorials for blogging and social media. Maybe someone wants to learn how to create a blog or use Facebook's publishing tools to share (or edit) to Instagram and Facebook. It is hard for me to explain things, at times, and screen sharing, allows me to be more clearer. I definitely don't want to overwhelm people, but I know I do.  

One interesting feature, I recently discovered was it site saves your footage, after usage, if you are logged in. I started using RecordCast, a few months ago, with a simple Google tutorial, but then my computer cracked. I thought I lost the footage, but when my computer was fixed, a few months later, the footage was still there. 

I also discovered, you can record additional footage, while in the editor, to add on additional video. You also can add pre-recorded media and photos. You can use RecordCast as a regular editor as well for your photos and videos without doing a screen recording. 

I also thought about using RecordCast, as a backup to recording my mother's bible studies. The last time, she had a session, I had to use both my phone and kindle to record. I ran out of storage on the phone and had to swap over to the kindle to finish recording. Zoom would not let me record because I don't have a paid account, so I was at a lost how to record, with various issues, popping up. 

I did do a test session with Zoom, solo, to see if it would record, and it did. I also tried Hangouts meets, as well, and it recorded the screen. 

The Editor

The editor allows you to edit footage, in addition to adding text, background changes, and other elements. You also can add overlays for text and decoration. I did have issues with some of the elements. For example, I tried to add one of the Youtube logos and Facebook logos to the end screen. The background cut most of the logo off. I re-did the frame with a different background and adjusted colors. I still had the same issue with the cut-off logos. The purple IG logo did appear fully though. You just have to experiment and figure out what works best for your project. I tried adding other images and some worked well and some had to be resized. 

I did end up finding a Facebook and Youtube logo, which wasn't cut off. The ones with the lighting symbol was the ones, I was having issues with. After some experimenting, I discovered the images, with lighting symbols, appear in playback, for a short period, across the screen. 

RecordCast has static and animated images. 

Once you are done, you can export your project into a 480, 720, and 1080 formats. It does take a minute to export your final files. 

I recommend RecordCast for screen sharing and editing. Let me know what you think. 


Saturday, January 2, 2021

Earwax Removal Endoscope Review (Tomoson)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

I received the Earwax Removal Endoscope, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson.  

The scope came with an adapter, which has a usb, usb c, and micro usb connection for use with pc, mac, or Android phones. 

It also came with an oral mirror, ear spoons, and sleeves for attachment to the endoscope. The endoscope also has 6 adjustable led lights.

I had issues downloading the app but once, I had it, the app was easy to use. You can record video and take photos within the app. 

I used the endoscope for cleaning my ear and my son's ear, plus used it to look at a loose tooth in my mouth. 

You can purchase the scope on Amazon, using the link above. The scope is prime-eligible.


Thursday, December 17, 2020

The Loneliness Solution Review (Flyby Blog Promotions)

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by FlyBy Blog Promotions. I received a free book, in exchange for honest review. This post also contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

 I received The Loneliness Solution by Jack Eason, in exchange for honest review from FlyBy Blog Promotions. The book is available in kindle, paperback, and audio book format. The book is written from a Christian perspective. The book discusses how we can find "meaningful connection in a disconnected world. 

I wanted to read the book because I struggle with anxiety, loneliness, and depression, especially this year.  I am overwhelmed. Corona has definitely changed the world and I am simply done with everything, including kids most days. I am just tired and need a break from everyone and everything, but it will take a miracle. The last few days has been rough. I haven't posted as much on social media nor checked my email, at all. I just wanted to hide under the covers and escape from life, yet I can't do that. Oldest kid won't let me with his behavioral issues. 

One of the first things, which stood out was the section on loneliness kills. Lonely people eat and  drink more. I have definitely drunk more since March than I did in the past 10 years.  I am at my highest weight in life. I thought being 225 as a teenager was bad but I weigh more than that at 40 years old. Lonely people also die sooner. than people, who have more social relationships. 

Another section, which stood out, is the section on things, which get in the way of relationships, such as busyness and independence. I definitely fall into the trap of the delusion of self-sufficiency. I don't want to need other people, but unfortunately, I need other people. I hate asking for help, yet when I ask for help, I get hardly no responses. I asked for help fixing my dryer, but so far nos, even by professionals, who I would be paying. 

I definitely like to thank Rodney and Ms Reen for their help this year. My mother and niece as well, along with Mr. Daniel and Mrs. Mary Lynn, and The Badens. 

I been asking for additional help for my oldest for most of this year. I have heard a lot of No's because he has severe autism. This doesn't give me much hope for my youngest, if his behavior gets worse when he gets older because he also has severe autism. The book also discussed the disconnection of family. I have felt disconnected from my own kids, at times, during this year. 

The book has a lot of good information. If you are interested in the book, click on the link above. The book , once again, is available in paper back, kindle, and audio book format. 

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Before The Wrath Promotion (FlyBy Blog Promotions)

 Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by FlyBy Blog Promotions. No compensation was provided other than the screener to Before the Wrath. 

About the Film: 

  • Released: March 3, 2020. 84 minutes long by Ingenuity Films. 
  • Website:
  • Tagline: Lost evidence from the time of Christ reveals how and why the rapture must occur in the last days
  • Writer and director: Brent Miller Jr
  • Starring: Kevin Sorbo, Jack Hibbs, Amir Tsarfati, J.D. Farag, Jan Markell, Jay McCarl, Scott McConnell, Lizette Dillinger, Jemma Rizzuto, Kevin Hayer 
  • Narrated by Kevin Sorbo (God's Not Dead, Hercules). 
Brent Miller Jr, Director
Brent Miller Jr, Director



Based on true discoveries from the time of Christ. While most people no longer believe that Jesus is coming back, researchers in the Middle East have discovered new evidence that proves the prophesied Rapture is not only real, but why it must soon come to pass. The movie is the #1 Christian movie in America. 

This shocking insight will reignite hope for believers and prepare the world for what's coming. Narrated by Kevin Sorbo (God's Not Dead).  Regardless of your end-times views, Before the Wrath will captivate believers and non-believers alike; revealing new depths of theological understanding regarding what Jesus revealed to the ancient Galileans about the end of the world in ways you could never have imagined. Narrated by Kevin Sorbo (God's Not Dead). 

Featuring interviews with
  1. Jack Hibbs - Theologist and host of “Real Life” on SiriusXM
  2. Amir Tsarfati - Founder and President of Behold Israel
  3.  Jan Markell - Founder of Olive Tree Ministries
  4. JD Farag - Theologist and Eschatologist
  5. Scott McConnell - Exec. Director of Lifeway Research
  6. Jay McCarl - Ancient Middle Eastern Anthropologist
  7. Lizette Dillinger - Qualitative Director of LifeWay Research (You Verson) has also provided a 5-day reading plan for Before the Wrath. 

Review: (Pending. Watching now. Will be updated shortly)


Landing page: 

Sunday, November 29, 2020

Way Past Exhausted

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

What do you do when you had enough? When you so tired, that you hate going to sleep because you won't sleep long and you hate waking up because you know nothing hasn't changed? Is this life worth living, despite all the obstacles? What is my purpose for being here, other than cooking, cleaning, parenting and fixing/repairing stuff?

"More to this life. More than living and dying. More than trying to make it through the day. More to this life. More than my eyes alone can see. There is more in this life, I long to be". Steven Curtis Chapman. Signs of Life album. More to this life. 

"There is a joy. There is a peace, that makes this life complete. For every man, woman, boy, and girl, looking for Heaven in the real world."

Waking up to Brad hitting the walls, doors, and windows. Waking up to him throwing the dirty clothes or the dirty clothes bin. Standing on the semi-broken love chair to hit the walls and the ceilings, higher. Hitting the stove hood and slamming the fridge door. Picking up dirty diapers, he tossed in corners and on top of clothes, drying. 

Standing over me, while I am sleep, like a psycho, waiting to scream, "I want phone" as soon as my eyes open. Turning on all the lights in the house to alert me of his presence, I guess. Pulling the covers off me and Kalen, while we are sleep. 

The other day, he was throwing dishes and threw the dirty clothes bin at me. I'm glad I caught it before he broke the living room window, the 5th time. Even if you give him, his meds, as soon as you get up at whatever random time, he wakes up, the behavior continues. My anxiety continues. My depression continues. Loneliness continues. Tears continue and I hate crying. 

He is going to put us out of another apartment, I just know it. People don't want to rent to special needs families, in Houston, at least when I called around, after I got the note on my last apartment door, about not renewing our lease. All I can do is clean, declutter, and repair small items, until the day happens. I don't need to take all this clutter with me to another apartment. I am not sure if I want Brad to live with us in the next apartment, but the City of Houston does not want people with severe autism in residential centers, temporary or permanent,  because Autism is not treatable or curable. He is not potty-trained either, which is another reason for disqualification. 

The downstairs neighbor, across from us, moved a few weeks ago. Was it because of Brad? Yesterday, I saw one of the former upstairs neighbors put groceries in a different apartment in a different building? Was it because of Brad? Will management ask us to leave in January, when our lease is up? How is that fair to Kalen--if we have to move--at the beginning of a new semester to a new apartment in maybe a new school? I can't go back to all virtual because of my mental health. 

How is it fair to me to keep fixing and repairing new and old wall holes, Brad has re-opened? To wake up at various times during the night to try and calm him down. To keep fixing furniture, he has broken. Yesterday, I learned a new skill, involving Kalen. I untwisted the pipes in the bathroom, to remove things, he has thrown down the sink, like corn kernels, a ball, and the sink stopper. 

I learned how to fix holes with sheetrock and a power drill, this year, because of Brad. Many thanks to my poetry buddy, Rodney, for helping me with tips and techniques, I needed. I fixed the wobbly dining room table with a bunch of screws, the other week. Still wobbly but not as wobbly. I have screwed and re-screwed the stove hood, back in multiple times. Brad also broke the tv antenna. Glad I had back up, even though I struggled to find where it was, in the closet. 


I am done.  I quit. I am ready to sign over my guardianship to whoever wants him. Let him eat up all their food and destroy their homes. Destroy them mentally. 


His behavior got worse, when he realized he wasn't going back to school after spring break and it went super downhill fast. He hasn't hit walls constantly in years, but it started back. He put more holes in the walls than he did at the last apt and my mama's former home. He broke more furniture in a shorter time period. 

I just wanted some nice furniture, not from the dumpster. I been afraid to get newer pieces because I knew it wouldn't last long. Nice table and 5 chairs from the furniture bank. He broke the base from the stand on the table (which is why it is wobbly) and broke all 5 chairs. I do have a corner of broken dumpster chairs, I am scared to fix because Brad may break them or throw them towards me, Kalen, or through the window, including 2 nice metal chairs. He broke the arm off the 3 seater sofa and I had to toss it out. He put holes in the back of the dresser. He also broke off half of one of the drawer fronts. Forgive me for wanting a nice place to put winter clothes, instead of in space bags. I finally got the dryer fixed, Brad broke, but now need the belt replaced and struggling to find someone to fix it, even on Craigslist and Nextdoor. 

I had to flip the love seat over to keep Brad from standing on it to hit the ceiling and knock the texture off. I flipped it back over, weeks ago, to clean under it, and the arm came apart from being flipped over. The mini arm railings also came off. If I flip it back over, I am not sure that I can fix it with my drill. So I am leaving it right-side up until he breaks it for good. 

I can't have anything. I guess I am not deserving since it ends up broken. Since Corona, I have bought a new phone because Brad broke it; a new computer because Kalen cracked the screen and it stopped working; Brad got a new tv because Kalen knocked it over. I still need to put up the towel bar, Brad knocked down, but I keep misplacing what I did with the brackets. I found a dumpster door (bedroom) but I put it on the bathroom (he broke original bedroom and bathroom door) for a bit of privacy until I get a new door. Rodney also told me about Habitat for Humanity's stores, which sell cheaper doors. I am not ready to pay $150 to the complex for Brad to break it a 2nd time. 

His elopement also continues. I can't walk to the store with the kids. I can't take out the trash if Brad is woke. I can't walk to the laundry room to wash my blankets and floor rug. Both are too big for the portable's spin cycle. I can't go to the mailbox without bribery or a ride from my mother or niece. I'm done. I am not the right parent for this job. 

One of the tiny homes, I love on Amazon. I would make a few mods but it is small and simple. 

I just want a nice, small home, I don't have to worry about being put out of because of Brad. A table and four chairs for speech therapists and counselors when they visit (no seating was one of the biggest complaints at my last place). A side by side fridge with padlock so I can have more variety of foods for the kids to eat. A house without holes in walls and peeled off texture. A house with intact doors. I also need sleep, good sleep, for the first time since March, and a 3 day break from both kids for my sanity. 

Monday, October 5, 2020

The Autism Trap


An autism trap is an area of town where there is an high risk of something fundamentally happening. A high risk of elopement. A high risk of running into traffic and almost getting hit by a car or cars. A level five massive meltdown waiting to happen- no will happen. 

A situation where I am not physically or mentally equipped to deal with. Imagine trying to pull a 200-lb man back, when we weigh close to the same, from running into the street or out of the street. Having a concerned person call 911 for an assault versus an autistic meltdown. Hoping the officer is a CIRT trained officer.

Trying to manage both the meltdown and keeping Kalen within visual distance. Sometimes a concerned citizen offers to hold him while I deal with Brad. Knowing the officers can't do anything about the situation because the city will never admit my oldest , to a psych ward, because of his violence and aggression, in addition to him not being potty-trained. Just calm him down enough to put him back on the bus or wait on a ride or someone offering us a ride home.

I try to avoid the traps by using a Lyft or an Uber, if I have the funds, to get to certain places. If I have to ride the bus, I use Google maps, for any restaurants and other enticing places, which will increase the risk. If there is a risk I have to reconsider whether or not I need to go. My mama and niece also help drive me to places to avoid traps.

The Trip to Aarons:

My methods are not always the best. Last year, I rented a computer for a few months after my HP stream, started to act stupid. I don't like blogging from my phone let alone streaming any shows. I went to Aaron's and found a reasonable one that I could use. I mapped out the route to Aarons and did not see too many risks. It was one bus from my house. I wasn't sure how to get back home though without crossing highway. I could always ride the bus downtown and back. What I didn't notice was the McDonald's, on the other side of the highway next to Aldine high, but Brad did.

Brad tried to cross a multi-lane highway. Luckily I was able to hold him back from going into the road, but it was hard. Someone saw me struggling and offered me a way home. 

The Trip to get to Church:

Another incident was a few years ago, after I moved to my first apartment. My church at that time did not offer bus service to pick us up and drop us off from the new part of town. I knew I had to start looking for a new church but that proved difficult. Looking for the right church with a special needs program for both kids is a challenge, especially with brad, close to aging out. I tried a few churches but wasn't really feeling them. One church just walked my kids around the building until church was over. 

Another one had the special needs part closed one Sunday, Brad had a meltdown, and no one offered any assistance. Usually, Brad gets us attention during meltdowns, whether from an officer, security guard,  an administrator, or other concerned party.  I had to calm him down and then walk both kids home. No point in staying for the sermon. 

One of my favorites didn't like me using my Kindle and keyboard to take notes in the sanctuary. We don't do that here said one woman, who was sitting next to me. (Watch Seven Deadly Words on Amazon. It is about a new pastor at a church,, who faced opposition, when he tried to stray from tradition.). The woman definitely won't like my now because I moved to the laptop. Got tired of every Kindle not saving notes when I got a new one. My old notes would not transfer over to the new kindle, with the app, I used, so I decided to type notes using Google Docs. 

I got tired of trying new churches and I decided to attempt to catch the bus and walk to my old church one Sunday on Christmas. It was an hour bus ride plus a possible hour walk. Yes it was a challenge but I was determined to stay at my old church until Brad turned 18. We got to the last bus stop before we had to walk the rest of the way. We had to cross over Veterans memorial. Brad wanted McDonald's. Okay no problem. I got cash. we can get McDonald's. That can keep him busy while we walk.

We started walking toward the McDonald's and a problem happened. It was closed for Christmas. Massive meltdown. Massive elopement risk. Kalen was in a stroller. Veterans memorial is a multi-lane, multi-directional road and Brad ran out into this mess. Luckily, no cars were coming along the straightaways, but he almost got hit by a car from the turn lane. I had to literally leave boy 2 in the stroller along with our bags by ditch to chase him. God was with him. I was able to pull him back.

The police was called by someone, who saw the incident.  A church member saw us with the police trying to calm him down and gave us a ride to church and back. My mama gave us rides to church after that until it was no longer feasible to go. ( Brad had a scream fest. Said he was too much to handle. Gave us a ride home and recommended our current Church home)

Current Church

My current Church, while it is not a trap, had one incident where he bolted from the church parking lot, cross the road, and into the building. I had to run in the church, with bags, and a toddler, with one shoe on, to catch him. We did get introduced to a lovely lady who handed us a card for the churches clothing and pantry shelters because of Kalen's shoe issue. 

My mother had to start dropping us off directly in front of the church to avoid this issue or on the side in the disabled parking lot.

Aldine Bender/Aldine Westfield. 

Another trap, which I never ever want to experience is the Aldine Bender and Westfield Area, where Kalen's school and Brad's former special needs high school is located. The bus stop is on one side of the highway and Burger King, Popeyes , and Wendy's is on the other side highway. Across from Brad's old school is a Sonic and a McDonald's. When I had to drop Brad back off at school after an appointment, I use my niece or a ride share, or just left him home. It's not worth it to attempt to walk this trap through the highway. Sometimes, you get a good bus driver, who will let you off, on the other side, near Wendy's. 

Kalen's school called me the other week and wanted me to venture through the trap, by bus, which inspired this post. I could not, in good faith, venture through the trap, with Brad. It was an accident/incident, waiting to happen. I can walk this trap, solo, but not with Brad. Not only, do we have to cross over and avoid fast food, it is a good 15-20 minute walk through the grass and sidewalks. There is also a house, near Kalen's school with a dog. Even if I took the longer route, where I walk down Aldine-Westfield, turn on Aldine-Bender, and turn on the road, next to Kalen's school, I run into McDonalds and Wendy's as I get closer to Lane School (miss that place), which will cause another incident. 

What are some Autism traps in your area?

Thank you for reading. Have a blessed day.