Saturday, January 2, 2021

Earwax Removal Endoscope Review (Tomoson)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

I received the Earwax Removal Endoscope, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson.  

The scope came with an adapter, which has a usb, usb c, and micro usb connection for use with pc, mac, or Android phones. 

It also came with an oral mirror, ear spoons, and sleeves for attachment to the endoscope. The endoscope also has 6 adjustable led lights.

I had issues downloading the app but once, I had it, the app was easy to use. You can record video and take photos within the app. 

I used the endoscope for cleaning my ear and my son's ear, plus used it to look at a loose tooth in my mouth. 

You can purchase the scope on Amazon, using the link above. The scope is prime-eligible.


Thursday, December 17, 2020

The Loneliness Solution Review (Flyby Blog Promotions)

Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by FlyBy Blog Promotions. I received a free book, in exchange for honest review. This post also contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

 I received The Loneliness Solution by Jack Eason, in exchange for honest review from FlyBy Blog Promotions. The book is available in kindle, paperback, and audio book format. The book is written from a Christian perspective. The book discusses how we can find "meaningful connection in a disconnected world. 

I wanted to read the book because I struggle with anxiety, loneliness, and depression, especially this year.  I am overwhelmed. Corona has definitely changed the world and I am simply done with everything, including kids most days. I am just tired and need a break from everyone and everything, but it will take a miracle. The last few days has been rough. I haven't posted as much on social media nor checked my email, at all. I just wanted to hide under the covers and escape from life, yet I can't do that. Oldest kid won't let me with his behavioral issues. 

One of the first things, which stood out was the section on loneliness kills. Lonely people eat and  drink more. I have definitely drunk more since March than I did in the past 10 years.  I am at my highest weight in life. I thought being 225 as a teenager was bad but I weigh more than that at 40 years old. Lonely people also die sooner. than people, who have more social relationships. 

Another section, which stood out, is the section on things, which get in the way of relationships, such as busyness and independence. I definitely fall into the trap of the delusion of self-sufficiency. I don't want to need other people, but unfortunately, I need other people. I hate asking for help, yet when I ask for help, I get hardly no responses. I asked for help fixing my dryer, but so far nos, even by professionals, who I would be paying. 

I definitely like to thank Rodney and Ms Reen for their help this year. My mother and niece as well, along with Mr. Daniel and Mrs. Mary Lynn, and The Badens. 

I been asking for additional help for my oldest for most of this year. I have heard a lot of No's because he has severe autism. This doesn't give me much hope for my youngest, if his behavior gets worse when he gets older because he also has severe autism. The book also discussed the disconnection of family. I have felt disconnected from my own kids, at times, during this year. 

The book has a lot of good information. If you are interested in the book, click on the link above. The book , once again, is available in paper back, kindle, and audio book format. 

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Before The Wrath Promotion (FlyBy Blog Promotions)

 Disclaimer: This post was sponsored by FlyBy Blog Promotions. No compensation was provided other than the screener to Before the Wrath. 

About the Film: 

  • Released: March 3, 2020. 84 minutes long by Ingenuity Films. 
  • Website:
  • Tagline: Lost evidence from the time of Christ reveals how and why the rapture must occur in the last days
  • Writer and director: Brent Miller Jr
  • Starring: Kevin Sorbo, Jack Hibbs, Amir Tsarfati, J.D. Farag, Jan Markell, Jay McCarl, Scott McConnell, Lizette Dillinger, Jemma Rizzuto, Kevin Hayer 
  • Narrated by Kevin Sorbo (God's Not Dead, Hercules). 
Brent Miller Jr, Director
Brent Miller Jr, Director



Based on true discoveries from the time of Christ. While most people no longer believe that Jesus is coming back, researchers in the Middle East have discovered new evidence that proves the prophesied Rapture is not only real, but why it must soon come to pass. The movie is the #1 Christian movie in America. 

This shocking insight will reignite hope for believers and prepare the world for what's coming. Narrated by Kevin Sorbo (God's Not Dead).  Regardless of your end-times views, Before the Wrath will captivate believers and non-believers alike; revealing new depths of theological understanding regarding what Jesus revealed to the ancient Galileans about the end of the world in ways you could never have imagined. Narrated by Kevin Sorbo (God's Not Dead). 

Featuring interviews with
  1. Jack Hibbs - Theologist and host of “Real Life” on SiriusXM
  2. Amir Tsarfati - Founder and President of Behold Israel
  3.  Jan Markell - Founder of Olive Tree Ministries
  4. JD Farag - Theologist and Eschatologist
  5. Scott McConnell - Exec. Director of Lifeway Research
  6. Jay McCarl - Ancient Middle Eastern Anthropologist
  7. Lizette Dillinger - Qualitative Director of LifeWay Research (You Verson) has also provided a 5-day reading plan for Before the Wrath. 

Review: (Pending. Watching now. Will be updated shortly)


Landing page: 

Sunday, November 29, 2020

Way Past Exhausted

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

What do you do when you had enough? When you so tired, that you hate going to sleep because you won't sleep long and you hate waking up because you know nothing hasn't changed? Is this life worth living, despite all the obstacles? What is my purpose for being here, other than cooking, cleaning, parenting and fixing/repairing stuff?

"More to this life. More than living and dying. More than trying to make it through the day. More to this life. More than my eyes alone can see. There is more in this life, I long to be". Steven Curtis Chapman. Signs of Life album. More to this life. 

"There is a joy. There is a peace, that makes this life complete. For every man, woman, boy, and girl, looking for Heaven in the real world."

Waking up to Brad hitting the walls, doors, and windows. Waking up to him throwing the dirty clothes or the dirty clothes bin. Standing on the semi-broken love chair to hit the walls and the ceilings, higher. Hitting the stove hood and slamming the fridge door. Picking up dirty diapers, he tossed in corners and on top of clothes, drying. 

Standing over me, while I am sleep, like a psycho, waiting to scream, "I want phone" as soon as my eyes open. Turning on all the lights in the house to alert me of his presence, I guess. Pulling the covers off me and Kalen, while we are sleep. 

The other day, he was throwing dishes and threw the dirty clothes bin at me. I'm glad I caught it before he broke the living room window, the 5th time. Even if you give him, his meds, as soon as you get up at whatever random time, he wakes up, the behavior continues. My anxiety continues. My depression continues. Loneliness continues. Tears continue and I hate crying. 

He is going to put us out of another apartment, I just know it. People don't want to rent to special needs families, in Houston, at least when I called around, after I got the note on my last apartment door, about not renewing our lease. All I can do is clean, declutter, and repair small items, until the day happens. I don't need to take all this clutter with me to another apartment. I am not sure if I want Brad to live with us in the next apartment, but the City of Houston does not want people with severe autism in residential centers, temporary or permanent,  because Autism is not treatable or curable. He is not potty-trained either, which is another reason for disqualification. 

The downstairs neighbor, across from us, moved a few weeks ago. Was it because of Brad? Yesterday, I saw one of the former upstairs neighbors put groceries in a different apartment in a different building? Was it because of Brad? Will management ask us to leave in January, when our lease is up? How is that fair to Kalen--if we have to move--at the beginning of a new semester to a new apartment in maybe a new school? I can't go back to all virtual because of my mental health. 

How is it fair to me to keep fixing and repairing new and old wall holes, Brad has re-opened? To wake up at various times during the night to try and calm him down. To keep fixing furniture, he has broken. Yesterday, I learned a new skill, involving Kalen. I untwisted the pipes in the bathroom, to remove things, he has thrown down the sink, like corn kernels, a ball, and the sink stopper. 

I learned how to fix holes with sheetrock and a power drill, this year, because of Brad. Many thanks to my poetry buddy, Rodney, for helping me with tips and techniques, I needed. I fixed the wobbly dining room table with a bunch of screws, the other week. Still wobbly but not as wobbly. I have screwed and re-screwed the stove hood, back in multiple times. Brad also broke the tv antenna. Glad I had back up, even though I struggled to find where it was, in the closet. 


I am done.  I quit. I am ready to sign over my guardianship to whoever wants him. Let him eat up all their food and destroy their homes. Destroy them mentally. 


His behavior got worse, when he realized he wasn't going back to school after spring break and it went super downhill fast. He hasn't hit walls constantly in years, but it started back. He put more holes in the walls than he did at the last apt and my mama's former home. He broke more furniture in a shorter time period. 

I just wanted some nice furniture, not from the dumpster. I been afraid to get newer pieces because I knew it wouldn't last long. Nice table and 5 chairs from the furniture bank. He broke the base from the stand on the table (which is why it is wobbly) and broke all 5 chairs. I do have a corner of broken dumpster chairs, I am scared to fix because Brad may break them or throw them towards me, Kalen, or through the window, including 2 nice metal chairs. He broke the arm off the 3 seater sofa and I had to toss it out. He put holes in the back of the dresser. He also broke off half of one of the drawer fronts. Forgive me for wanting a nice place to put winter clothes, instead of in space bags. I finally got the dryer fixed, Brad broke, but now need the belt replaced and struggling to find someone to fix it, even on Craigslist and Nextdoor. 

I had to flip the love seat over to keep Brad from standing on it to hit the ceiling and knock the texture off. I flipped it back over, weeks ago, to clean under it, and the arm came apart from being flipped over. The mini arm railings also came off. If I flip it back over, I am not sure that I can fix it with my drill. So I am leaving it right-side up until he breaks it for good. 

I can't have anything. I guess I am not deserving since it ends up broken. Since Corona, I have bought a new phone because Brad broke it; a new computer because Kalen cracked the screen and it stopped working; Brad got a new tv because Kalen knocked it over. I still need to put up the towel bar, Brad knocked down, but I keep misplacing what I did with the brackets. I found a dumpster door (bedroom) but I put it on the bathroom (he broke original bedroom and bathroom door) for a bit of privacy until I get a new door. Rodney also told me about Habitat for Humanity's stores, which sell cheaper doors. I am not ready to pay $150 to the complex for Brad to break it a 2nd time. 

His elopement also continues. I can't walk to the store with the kids. I can't take out the trash if Brad is woke. I can't walk to the laundry room to wash my blankets and floor rug. Both are too big for the portable's spin cycle. I can't go to the mailbox without bribery or a ride from my mother or niece. I'm done. I am not the right parent for this job. 

One of the tiny homes, I love on Amazon. I would make a few mods but it is small and simple. 

I just want a nice, small home, I don't have to worry about being put out of because of Brad. A table and four chairs for speech therapists and counselors when they visit (no seating was one of the biggest complaints at my last place). A side by side fridge with padlock so I can have more variety of foods for the kids to eat. A house without holes in walls and peeled off texture. A house with intact doors. I also need sleep, good sleep, for the first time since March, and a 3 day break from both kids for my sanity. 

Monday, October 5, 2020

The Autism Trap


An autism trap is an area of town where there is an high risk of something fundamentally happening. A high risk of elopement. A high risk of running into traffic and almost getting hit by a car or cars. A level five massive meltdown waiting to happen- no will happen. 

A situation where I am not physically or mentally equipped to deal with. Imagine trying to pull a 200-lb man back, when we weigh close to the same, from running into the street or out of the street. Having a concerned person call 911 for an assault versus an autistic meltdown. Hoping the officer is a CIRT trained officer.

Trying to manage both the meltdown and keeping Kalen within visual distance. Sometimes a concerned citizen offers to hold him while I deal with Brad. Knowing the officers can't do anything about the situation because the city will never admit my oldest , to a psych ward, because of his violence and aggression, in addition to him not being potty-trained. Just calm him down enough to put him back on the bus or wait on a ride or someone offering us a ride home.

I try to avoid the traps by using a Lyft or an Uber, if I have the funds, to get to certain places. If I have to ride the bus, I use Google maps, for any restaurants and other enticing places, which will increase the risk. If there is a risk I have to reconsider whether or not I need to go. My mama and niece also help drive me to places to avoid traps.

The Trip to Aarons:

My methods are not always the best. Last year, I rented a computer for a few months after my HP stream, started to act stupid. I don't like blogging from my phone let alone streaming any shows. I went to Aaron's and found a reasonable one that I could use. I mapped out the route to Aarons and did not see too many risks. It was one bus from my house. I wasn't sure how to get back home though without crossing highway. I could always ride the bus downtown and back. What I didn't notice was the McDonald's, on the other side of the highway next to Aldine high, but Brad did.

Brad tried to cross a multi-lane highway. Luckily I was able to hold him back from going into the road, but it was hard. Someone saw me struggling and offered me a way home. 

The Trip to get to Church:

Another incident was a few years ago, after I moved to my first apartment. My church at that time did not offer bus service to pick us up and drop us off from the new part of town. I knew I had to start looking for a new church but that proved difficult. Looking for the right church with a special needs program for both kids is a challenge, especially with brad, close to aging out. I tried a few churches but wasn't really feeling them. One church just walked my kids around the building until church was over. 

Another one had the special needs part closed one Sunday, Brad had a meltdown, and no one offered any assistance. Usually, Brad gets us attention during meltdowns, whether from an officer, security guard,  an administrator, or other concerned party.  I had to calm him down and then walk both kids home. No point in staying for the sermon. 

One of my favorites didn't like me using my Kindle and keyboard to take notes in the sanctuary. We don't do that here said one woman, who was sitting next to me. (Watch Seven Deadly Words on Amazon. It is about a new pastor at a church,, who faced opposition, when he tried to stray from tradition.). The woman definitely won't like my now because I moved to the laptop. Got tired of every Kindle not saving notes when I got a new one. My old notes would not transfer over to the new kindle, with the app, I used, so I decided to type notes using Google Docs. 

I got tired of trying new churches and I decided to attempt to catch the bus and walk to my old church one Sunday on Christmas. It was an hour bus ride plus a possible hour walk. Yes it was a challenge but I was determined to stay at my old church until Brad turned 18. We got to the last bus stop before we had to walk the rest of the way. We had to cross over Veterans memorial. Brad wanted McDonald's. Okay no problem. I got cash. we can get McDonald's. That can keep him busy while we walk.

We started walking toward the McDonald's and a problem happened. It was closed for Christmas. Massive meltdown. Massive elopement risk. Kalen was in a stroller. Veterans memorial is a multi-lane, multi-directional road and Brad ran out into this mess. Luckily, no cars were coming along the straightaways, but he almost got hit by a car from the turn lane. I had to literally leave boy 2 in the stroller along with our bags by ditch to chase him. God was with him. I was able to pull him back.

The police was called by someone, who saw the incident.  A church member saw us with the police trying to calm him down and gave us a ride to church and back. My mama gave us rides to church after that until it was no longer feasible to go. ( Brad had a scream fest. Said he was too much to handle. Gave us a ride home and recommended our current Church home)

Current Church

My current Church, while it is not a trap, had one incident where he bolted from the church parking lot, cross the road, and into the building. I had to run in the church, with bags, and a toddler, with one shoe on, to catch him. We did get introduced to a lovely lady who handed us a card for the churches clothing and pantry shelters because of Kalen's shoe issue. 

My mother had to start dropping us off directly in front of the church to avoid this issue or on the side in the disabled parking lot.

Aldine Bender/Aldine Westfield. 

Another trap, which I never ever want to experience is the Aldine Bender and Westfield Area, where Kalen's school and Brad's former special needs high school is located. The bus stop is on one side of the highway and Burger King, Popeyes , and Wendy's is on the other side highway. Across from Brad's old school is a Sonic and a McDonald's. When I had to drop Brad back off at school after an appointment, I use my niece or a ride share, or just left him home. It's not worth it to attempt to walk this trap through the highway. Sometimes, you get a good bus driver, who will let you off, on the other side, near Wendy's. 

Kalen's school called me the other week and wanted me to venture through the trap, by bus, which inspired this post. I could not, in good faith, venture through the trap, with Brad. It was an accident/incident, waiting to happen. I can walk this trap, solo, but not with Brad. Not only, do we have to cross over and avoid fast food, it is a good 15-20 minute walk through the grass and sidewalks. There is also a house, near Kalen's school with a dog. Even if I took the longer route, where I walk down Aldine-Westfield, turn on Aldine-Bender, and turn on the road, next to Kalen's school, I run into McDonalds and Wendy's as I get closer to Lane School (miss that place), which will cause another incident. 

What are some Autism traps in your area?

Thank you for reading. Have a blessed day. 

Sunday, September 6, 2020

6 months

 Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

It has been officially 6 months, since the kids have been in a school setting. March 6, they was supposed to leave Friday for Spring Break and return within a week. I was happy because for the first time, since I was a kid, my birthday (March 19) did not fall on Spring Break. I didn't know how I would celebrate, maybe I could convince my mother to take me out to eat that week, but I was going to celebrate my 40th, somehow. 

I didn't expect 6 months of nonsense and bullshit to follow. My oldest's behavior started escalating, the day, he realized, he was supposed to go back to school. My youngest's night owl side came out more. By the time, one kid goes to sleep, it would be soon before the other child woke up (and who knew which time, my oldest would wake up, but when he woke up, he definitely let everyone know. It has gotten so bad, I am paranoid and filled with anxiety, when I wake up, in the middle of the night, before he does, because he can sense when I am woke, and the drama begins. I am lonely. I am depressed. I can't live, like this, for another 6 months. I spend most of my mornings, trying to calm Brad down and still have to remember to log in to Kalen's school for attendance plus do an assignment. 

My life is pathetic. Who wants to wake up to a kid, destroying their home and furniture? Who wants to hide all their can goods, sharps, and pantry items, in the closet versus the kitchen? Who wants to constantly beg to God for all of this stop? the hitting and kicking of walls, doors, ceilings, and windows; the waking up at all hours of the night; the worrying about if my lease will be renewed in a few months; a child hellbent on destroying what little we have.  I know people don't want to hear all this but I need to vent somewhere. I have definitely drunk more wine coolers and other liquor, plus a lot of snacks, during this mess. Cried too many tears daily and I hate crying.

Fuck this shit. I am exhausted. I am burnt out. I am mentally drained. I have looked into group home again, but no one wants to touch Autism. I have looked into hospitals for stabilization, but none want to touch Autism. So what in the fuck am I supposed to do? I know God is in the works somewhere. In his timing, things will work out one day, hopefully, but his timing is not bringing me complete peace, right now. I need relief. I need sleep. I need a break, other than grocery and pharmacy runs. My mother has started taking me out to eat more to get me out of this house. I can do so much more if the kids left the house: closet needs organization; clothes need organization; books need organization; kitchen pantry needs organization; under my bed needs organization; 

Only thing, which works, is 

In 6 months, I have experienced: 

  • I have learned how to make a simple cheese using dry buttermilk powder and lemon juice. The video used regular milk/buttermilk but I can't keep regular liquid milk in the house because one of my kids will pour it down the drain. 
  • I been working on de-cluttering, my house, slowly. I got rid of a lot of kitchen utensils and jars, I do not use; some old clothes (still got a ways to go on clothes); and other random household stuff. I re-organized the living room. I cleaned off a lot of junk off my desk area. I organized my spare cords bin. I made small progress in the closet. I removed a lot of junk from under the bed. 
  • My niece helped me make homemade ice cream. I bought the ingredients but she took over. It tasted good. It was a cookie butter cheese cake recipe. 

  • I have made a stress putty, based on a video, I saw on Youtube. 
  • I fixed my first big hole in the wall with sheet rock versus a patch. Thank you Rodney. 
  • I fixed another small hole without any patches, to see if I could do it, based on a Youtube Video.
  • Someone helped me out, big time, by telling me how to get my portable dryer to work again for a little while.  
    • Brad broke the plug by pulling the dryer from the wall, last year. (belt keeps falling off now. Ms. Williams told me that the dryer would still work without the ground plug. It did. I definitely prayed before I used the dryer, just to be on the safe side. The person, who fixed the plug eventually, told me to watch videos on Youtube to learn how to put the belt back on. )
  • Someone helped me get a portable washer. I had to outsource all of my laundry to my niece. My kids don't behave well, walking to and from the laundry rooms. Last time, I tried, Brad tried to run off, while Kalen refused to move off the ground, when I was trying to take the loads back into the house. 
  • I made Kalen, a play stove (well multiple play stoves, along with a cabinet and fridge) because he kept breaking the ones, I got from Amazon. He has since upgraded by ordering, without a single person's permission,  a Step 2 big kitchen set, using both a gift card, I won from a social media conference, and my mama's credit card. 
    • Even though I wasn't sure about keeping or returning it, Kalen definitely needed it versus just a stove. His skill set and words has improved. He does think the microwave is a fridge (we don't have a microwave because of Brad's lack of safety skills) and the Keurig (yep, it has a Keurig built-in) is an ice maker (no clue where he saw an ice maker at). The pods are ice. 
    • He  pulled out all the food and accessories from all 4 stove/kitchen sets and applied them to the big set. 

  • My basic bread recipe also works as a tortilla too. I probably wont make them again, for a while, because it takes too long to roll out and individually cook. 


 But I have also experienced;

  • Brad putting new holes in the wall. What pissed me off more was someone helped me fix four holes, in the walls, with sheet rock versus patches. Brad put new holes in the walls, including 2 in the new sheet rock. 
  • Brad started back sitting in my bed, and eventually laying in my bed. I do not want him in my bed because he breaks beds: frames and mattresses. I like my mattress. I like my frame (got a heavy duty, platform bed, with rounded corners, years ago). Brad can break my bunkie board though. I did catch him jumping in my bed, one day. No slats means no support. I do not want my bed directly on the floor. 
  • Brad waking up between 2 am to 7 am, in the mornings. He goes straight from waking up to either the bathroom to pee OR to the door, windows, and walls to hit and kick. 
  • The stove hood has been knocked down, partially, and I had to re-screw it back in place, multiple times. One of the last times, it hit me in the head, while I was trying to hold it up and screw in a back screw. 
  • I had to flip all my sofas over to keep Brad from standing on them to hit the ceiling. 
  • Brad broke his iPad, his teacher gave him as a graduation gift. Brad broke a sofa plus a few chairs. Brad knocked some of the texture off the ceiling. I tried experimenting with popcorn texture to fix it, but haven't got the hang of it yet. 
  • Kalen broke the TV. Of course, Brad now wants to play his game (Vtech Innotv) that he barely played all year. 
  • Kalen wants to stay up all night, despite Melatonin in his system. Baths and lavender lotion also works. I took a break from the baths and lotion, after he got his heart monitor removed, earlier this year, but haven't got the routine back yet. He was unable to take a bath for a week or two, but I could wipe him down. 
  • One of the kids broke my crock pot bowl. 
  • Kalen broke my laptop, I just got in September. He cracked the screen, making it lose its touch screen capabilities, then started removing keys. Had to wait weeks until Best Buy and Geek Squad opened to invoke the power of the warranty. Had to wait another few weeks for repair and the text, which said pc cant be repaired. Get a new pc. 
  • Had to use my old pc until the newer one got repaired. HP #1 sucks but it definitely let me still talk to people and do reviews, when it wasn't crashing. 
  • Brad broke my phone. Felt sorry for him since he had no TV and no Ipad. He bent the pins within two weeks. Luckily, a friend sent me some money and I was able to get a new phone. 
  • Brad broke my dining table, I was going to use for speech therapy and in-home appointments with coordinators (I really wanted a nice table and chairs, which didn't come from the dumpster, but can't have that either). 
  • Brad put holes in the back of the dresser, I moved their winter clothes to. 

I wish I had the funds to get some land and a tiny house. I wish-listed a few on Amazon. I would make a few modifications but having my own place without worrying about if the lease will be renewed because of Brad's behavior, would help a lot. The house below is one of my favorites. I would make the living room smaller and incorporate a bigger, walk-in closet for clothes, pantry items, and tools. The master bedroom would also have a door to the bathroom. I also thought about turning the other bedroom into a sensory room with rubber walls. No popcorn ceilings. Heavy duty doors. Brick walls. Side by side fridge. No dishwasher. Fenced in front and back yard so they can run and play. 

Friday, September 4, 2020

Heyna Q Portable Heating Pad Review (Tomoson)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links. 

I received Heyna Q Portable Heating Pad, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson.

The pad has 3 heat modes and 3 massage vibration modes. The pad also has voice broadcast.I could hear the voice but not quite sure what the voice is saying. She was coming in at low volume. You can also adjust the belt to fit your body. I wasnt sure if the belt would fit my belly but the belt did fit and I was able to use the machine. The belt stretches from 24 inches to 57 inches. 

I have used the pad for both back and belly pain. You can also use the pad for neck and menstrual pain. Each session lasts 15 minutes and auto shut off kicks in. To me, the pad is part tens unit (without the electrodes) and heating pad. The pad was easy to use and user-friendly. You turn it on and adjust the settings. One button controls the power and heat modes, while the other controls the massage modes. 

The pad takes three seconds to heat up. The temperatures include 104, 122, and 140 degrees. There is also a cycle mode which goes through all the heat ranges. 

The massage vibrations starts at 3000 per min/ 4500, 6000, and recycle mode. You just have to play with the settings until you are comfortable. 

Finally, you can clean the pad with a soft cloth. 

You can purchase the pad, on Amazon, using the link above. The pad is prime-eligible. 

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Take back your life by Levi Lusko Book Review (FlyBy Blog Promotions)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links.

I read Take Back Your Life by Levi Lusko, in exchange for honest review from FlyBy Blog Promotions. I received a hardback book. 

The book is a 40 day devotional/journal, which helps you think right, so you can live right.

My life sucks right now. The crisis and quarantining has not helped. I am drained physically, mentally, and spiritually. I dread waking up and I dread going to bed because I know what's waiting and I hate it (kid's morning behavior issues). 

I have learned a few new skills, such as I attempted to make cheese, but I cant seem to help my oldest calm down. I wanted to read this book to at least help my spiritual life improve, while everything else is falling apart. 

Book Review

One of the first things, which stood out is when the author said looks can be deceiving. We can be looking at something, but not see all, that is there. We can not trust what we see with the naked eye because there are unseen things in the background. 

"When you see the invisible, you can see the impossible"

Using just the seen to make decisions is not enough because there are blind spots.  The unseen spiritual realm is forever. We need to stop walking around oblivious to things going on in the background, such as the battle for our hearts (and our internal battle)and where we will spend eternity (We all will live forever, but where: Heaven or Hell). Lusko says we need to look at people and things through the lens of faith to see if this or that is for your good. Is this or that or them part of God's plan for your life. The author says we have to take back our lives from what's going on in the invisible realm. 

Another part of the book, which stood out is that no matter, what we are going through, we are loved. called. chosen. equipped. I may not feel that way when repairing another hole, my oldest put in the wall or picking up a bag full of toys, again, the youngest threw, but God still says we are loved, called, chosen, and equipped (and that' s where my overthinking takes place. What am I equipped to do? What is my godly purpose? Is it more than cleaning, cooking, parenting, and fixing things, the kids broke? My life is boring, repetitive, redundant, frustrating, but yet there is a godly purpose, somewhere in this mess.) Day 3 says despite how I feel about myself and my life, We were made in the image of God; we have autonomy; we are immortal; we were expensive because Jesus paid the ultimate price for our souls. I definitely need this book right now. I havent had it long. A kid tore a few pages out, but I was able to find them and put them back in the book, but I am loving what I am reading. 

At the end of each chapter, there is a prayer and questions to think about. 

The book is available in Kindle; Audio book; hardback; and audio CD. The book is prime-eligible. 

Author Bio:

Levi Lusko is the founder and lead pastor of Fresh Life Church, located in Montana, Wyoming, Oregon, and Utah. He is the bestselling author of Through the Eyes of a Lion, Swipe Right, and I Declare War. Levi also travels the world speaking about Jesus. He and his wife, Jennie, have one son, Lennox, and four daughters: Alivia, Daisy, Clover, and Lenya, who is in heaven.

Sunday, June 14, 2020

Moving Beyond Anxiety by David Chadwick Book Review (Flyby Blog Promotions)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links.

I read Moving Beyond Anxiety by David Chadwick, in exchange for honest review for FlyBy Blog Promotions. I received a pdf and a paperback copy of the book. The book is written from a biblical perspective. Part 1 focuses on identifying anxiety, while Part 2 focuses on overcoming anxiety.

Part 1: Identifying Anxiety

I wanted to read this book because I have tons of fears and anxieties. Will my oldest son's behavior get us evicted from another place? Will my youngest die in his sleep from his seizures or sleep apnea or long QT syndrome? If I walk the kids to the store or laundry room, will they walk off or have a public meltdown? If yes, I rather not take them, at all, than risk it. If I die, what will happen to my kids? Will Kalen accidentally cause an infection to his self because he likes to self-injure by scratching? I had his heart monitor removed because it was broke and Kalen was scratching around the monitor.

I worry about my health. I have headaches, back pain, and joint pain. I barely had any sleep since March because my oldest has been waking up, mostly at 4/5 am to hit walls, doors, and the ceiling. For me, I listen to music, clean, walk outside for a second to breath to try to stay calm and focused on rough days. I also pray but many times, fear my prayers are not listened to or won't be answered. After all, it's been three months since Brad started banging walls and doors at 3 am and it still won't stop.

In the Chadwick provides 12 strategies to help with anxieties. One of the first things, which stood out was Chadwick defined anxiety and fear.

"Anxiety is thinking something bad might happen to you", while "Fear is the belief something bad will happen to you". Chadwick says that if we win the battle over our thoughts, then we will win the battle over anxiety. Bad thoughts lead bad feelings, which lead to bad behaviors. We have to renew our minds daily.

Anxiety and fear also can affect your prayer life and your relationship with God. The devil also has a part in worry, anxiety, and fear by implanting thoughts in your head, which increases anxiety; tempts you to engage in destructive behaviors; and affects your relationship with God. God wants our lives to be filled with peace and joy, which is something I definitely need more of. A quiet, peaceful household, even with two children, with special needs.

The book also focuses on the causes of anxiety. Rapid change, loneliness, failure, rejection, and fear of tomorrow are the ones, which hit home, to me. Just look at the past few months. Kids went from going out of school for Spring Break to being out for the rest of the year. Church was closed and went completely virtual. Their psychiatrist visits also went virtual. Clinic also implemented curbside pharmacy plus temperature checks. 

Both kids behaviors changed quick, which increased fear, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Both of their medications have been adjusted, a few times to see if it helps. Toss in a outpatient surgery and a few visits for routine doctor visits and lab work.

I lost my breaks, during the day, along with sleep. I had to outsource laundry to my niece because they have elopement and other behavioral issues when going out in public. I had to learn to rely on more and accept help from others. We are all in this together. I am definitely grateful for Ms. Reen, Ms. Kim, Ms. MaryLynn, Hope for Three, Houston's First Baptist, during this time.

Part 2: Overcoming anxiety. 

To overcome anxiety, some of the solutions include focusing on faith; praying; singing; and getting Godly teammates. I have definitely prayed, begged, and pleaded during these last, few months, hoping any of my prayers would get answered. You have to embrace the little victories because God answers prayers in his time and not mine, which also causes anxiety. How long Lord, how long? (recorded a video of me, starting with that line, because I had enough of no sleep; enough of kids, staying at home, doing nothing but eating and running through data on my phone; enough of Brad waking up to hit the walls and doors; enough of broken furniture; enough of Kalen throwing toys and dishes around the home; enough of being hit, pushed, spit on, climbed on and over; enough of waiting on things to go right. not sure if I want to publish it or not).

I created a playlist on Amazon called Survival to help calm me down. It does bring some tears though. You toss enough Casting Crowns, Steven Curtis Chapman, Kirk Franklin, Smokie Norful, and CeCe Winans on a playlist, tears will come, especially when you are going through something.

"There is a hope, there is peace, that makes this life complete. For every man, woman, boy, and girl, looking for Heaven, in the real world" Steven Curtis Chapman. Heaven in the Real World

"I just want to get away from here. I just want fly away from what I see. Every time we fail, it falls on you, Another reason for the world, to not believe. See it don't feel right when we hurt and lie. and we judge inside because love's being erased. You can try and hide. No Sleep Tonight" Kirk Franklin. No Sleep Tonight. Don't get me started on the power of Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns.

Finally,have a few godly teammates to motivate and encourage you. Teammates, who will pray for you and bring positivity to your life.

The book is available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats. The book is prime-eligible.


Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links

A few weeks ago, May 27th, we had a blackout because of lightening and thunderstorms. While I do not like lightening and thunderstorms, the parent in me, was happy, because my kids do not like rain. Both kids normally go to bed early, during bad storms. Yay, I can rest. I can breath. I can do some cleaning in peace.

This night, it was different.

Brad did go to bed early. I saw him, winding down, on the couch, so I quickly gave him, his night meds, and let him crash. Kalen, on the other hand, decided to defy expectations, and not go to bed, until late. I gave him, his seizure meds. I gave him, a bath and rubbed him with lavender lotion, but he did not crash. I gave him melatonin too.

He took the blackout, hard, because the lights was off. The wifi was down. Youtube was no more. It didn't help that the kindle and laptop had also died early too. I had no options to entertain him. I do have a usb-powered light, which I cut on, so he wouldn't be completely scared. He kept asking me to turn on the lights and the phone. I had to remind him, that I was not God. Saying let there be light was not going to work. 

I had somewhere to be, the next morning. Kalen had his bi-annual cardiology appointment. I did not want to go to bed before the lights came back on so I can make sure the alarms are still set. What saved me was I remembered I had an battery-powered alarm clock, on a shelf in the closet. I also grabbed the mini sound machine. I don't know when I got it, but I was hoping one of those sounds, would help calm Kalen down. It didn't. I definitely recommend people get a battery-powered alarm clock. Smart devices do crash and nothing like having an alternative. I had not used the clock or sound machine,  in a while because my kids liked to knock it over. I got tired of resetting the clock and the alarm, so I put it up in the closet. The sound machine is now under the bed for emergencies. The clock is still standing (Kids knocked it down once) on my side table.

Kalen tried to entertain his self by looking out the window at other people, walking by. I rocked him. Nothing would calm him down to save my life. I was at a lost, this night.

Eventually, we both crashed. The lights came back on at 1:30 am. I quickly put all devices, back on the charger, before any kid woke up. I was glad Brad slept through the blackout because I could sense a meltdown, once he realized, the television would not come on.