Sunday, June 14, 2020

Moving Beyond Anxiety by David Chadwick Book Review (Flyby Blog Promotions)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links.



I read Moving Beyond Anxiety by David Chadwick, in exchange for honest review for FlyBy Blog Promotions. I received a pdf and a paperback copy of the book. The book is written from a biblical perspective. Part 1 focuses on identifying anxiety, while Part 2 focuses on overcoming anxiety.

Part 1: Identifying Anxiety

I wanted to read this book because I have tons of fears and anxieties. Will my oldest son's behavior get us evicted from another place? Will my youngest die in his sleep from his seizures or sleep apnea or long QT syndrome? If I walk the kids to the store or laundry room, will they walk off or have a public meltdown? If yes, I rather not take them, at all, than risk it. If I die, what will happen to my kids? Will Kalen accidentally cause an infection to his self because he likes to self-injure by scratching? I had his heart monitor removed because it was broke and Kalen was scratching around the monitor.

I worry about my health. I have headaches, back pain, and joint pain. I barely had any sleep since March because my oldest has been waking up, mostly at 4/5 am to hit walls, doors, and the ceiling. For me, I listen to music, clean, walk outside for a second to breath to try to stay calm and focused on rough days. I also pray but many times, fear my prayers are not listened to or won't be answered. After all, it's been three months since Brad started banging walls and doors at 3 am and it still won't stop.

In the Chadwick provides 12 strategies to help with anxieties. One of the first things, which stood out was Chadwick defined anxiety and fear.

"Anxiety is thinking something bad might happen to you", while "Fear is the belief something bad will happen to you". Chadwick says that if we win the battle over our thoughts, then we will win the battle over anxiety. Bad thoughts lead bad feelings, which lead to bad behaviors. We have to renew our minds daily.

Anxiety and fear also can affect your prayer life and your relationship with God. The devil also has a part in worry, anxiety, and fear by implanting thoughts in your head, which increases anxiety; tempts you to engage in destructive behaviors; and affects your relationship with God. God wants our lives to be filled with peace and joy, which is something I definitely need more of. A quiet, peaceful household, even with two children, with special needs.

The book also focuses on the causes of anxiety. Rapid change, loneliness, failure, rejection, and fear of tomorrow are the ones, which hit home, to me. Just look at the past few months. Kids went from going out of school for Spring Break to being out for the rest of the year. Church was closed and went completely virtual. Their psychiatrist visits also went virtual. Clinic also implemented curbside pharmacy plus temperature checks. 

Both kids behaviors changed quick, which increased fear, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Both of their medications have been adjusted, a few times to see if it helps. Toss in a outpatient surgery and a few visits for routine doctor visits and lab work.

I lost my breaks, during the day, along with sleep. I had to outsource laundry to my niece because they have elopement and other behavioral issues when going out in public. I had to learn to rely on more and accept help from others. We are all in this together. I am definitely grateful for Ms. Reen, Ms. Kim, Ms. MaryLynn, Hope for Three, Houston's First Baptist, during this time.

Part 2: Overcoming anxiety. 

To overcome anxiety, some of the solutions include focusing on faith; praying; singing; and getting Godly teammates. I have definitely prayed, begged, and pleaded during these last, few months, hoping any of my prayers would get answered. You have to embrace the little victories because God answers prayers in his time and not mine, which also causes anxiety. How long Lord, how long? (recorded a video of me, starting with that line, because I had enough of no sleep; enough of kids, staying at home, doing nothing but eating and running through data on my phone; enough of Brad waking up to hit the walls and doors; enough of broken furniture; enough of Kalen throwing toys and dishes around the home; enough of being hit, pushed, spit on, climbed on and over; enough of waiting on things to go right. not sure if I want to publish it or not).

I created a playlist on Amazon called Survival to help calm me down. It does bring some tears though. You toss enough Casting Crowns, Steven Curtis Chapman, Kirk Franklin, Smokie Norful, and CeCe Winans on a playlist, tears will come, especially when you are going through something.

"There is a hope, there is peace, that makes this life complete. For every man, woman, boy, and girl, looking for Heaven, in the real world" Steven Curtis Chapman. Heaven in the Real World

"I just want to get away from here. I just want fly away from what I see. Every time we fail, it falls on you, Another reason for the world, to not believe. See it don't feel right when we hurt and lie. and we judge inside because love's being erased. You can try and hide. No Sleep Tonight" Kirk Franklin. No Sleep Tonight. Don't get me started on the power of Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns.

Finally,have a few godly teammates to motivate and encourage you. Teammates, who will pray for you and bring positivity to your life.

The book is available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats. The book is prime-eligible.

Blackout

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A few weeks ago, May 27th, we had a blackout because of lightening and thunderstorms. While I do not like lightening and thunderstorms, the parent in me, was happy, because my kids do not like rain. Both kids normally go to bed early, during bad storms. Yay, I can rest. I can breath. I can do some cleaning in peace.

This night, it was different.

Brad did go to bed early. I saw him, winding down, on the couch, so I quickly gave him, his night meds, and let him crash. Kalen, on the other hand, decided to defy expectations, and not go to bed, until late. I gave him, his seizure meds. I gave him, a bath and rubbed him with lavender lotion, but he did not crash. I gave him melatonin too.

He took the blackout, hard, because the lights was off. The wifi was down. Youtube was no more. It didn't help that the kindle and laptop had also died early too. I had no options to entertain him. I do have a usb-powered light, which I cut on, so he wouldn't be completely scared. He kept asking me to turn on the lights and the phone. I had to remind him, that I was not God. Saying let there be light was not going to work. 

I had somewhere to be, the next morning. Kalen had his bi-annual cardiology appointment. I did not want to go to bed before the lights came back on so I can make sure the alarms are still set. What saved me was I remembered I had an battery-powered alarm clock, on a shelf in the closet. I also grabbed the mini sound machine. I don't know when I got it, but I was hoping one of those sounds, would help calm Kalen down. It didn't. I definitely recommend people get a battery-powered alarm clock. Smart devices do crash and nothing like having an alternative. I had not used the clock or sound machine,  in a while because my kids liked to knock it over. I got tired of resetting the clock and the alarm, so I put it up in the closet. The sound machine is now under the bed for emergencies. The clock is still standing (Kids knocked it down once) on my side table.

Kalen tried to entertain his self by looking out the window at other people, walking by. I rocked him. Nothing would calm him down to save my life. I was at a lost, this night.

Eventually, we both crashed. The lights came back on at 1:30 am. I quickly put all devices, back on the charger, before any kid woke up. I was glad Brad slept through the blackout because I could sense a meltdown, once he realized, the television would not come on.