Sunday, September 23, 2012

Internet explorer is not chrome. Chrome is not firefox. 3 different browsers. Learn your browser.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Over the Edge

Over the Edge

I received a copy of Over the Edge by Mary Connealy from Bethany House Publishers to review. Didn't have time to read it at first with school and kids. The past weekend (September 15, 2012), my youngest son got sick and had to go to the ER and I brought the book with me. The book is amazing. I love the story of Callie and Seth Kincaid and their son Conner. The story was very riveting and I was really into the book. The book started off with a shoot-out. The shoot out led to Callies meet up with her long-lost husband, who does not remember her. Seth has a ranch, family goes to ranch. Enter Jasper. Jasper had his money stolen by one of Seth's brother's wives. He wants his money back and thinks the money is on the ranch. Read the rest of the story to find out what happens.

This is a great book. 5 stars I recommend it.


Saturday, September 15, 2012

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Dreams 5/25/2012

My dreams have been vivid and in color since as far back as I remember. My dreams felt alive, no matter how good or bad they was.  They have ranged from the religious to wish to general to demonic. Sometimes a dream can change how I feel/behave around/about a person. If I have a dream, someone killed my children, even if they are non-violent, I will avoid them like the plague.

Last night, I had a horrible dream and been paranoid most of the day. The dream was good at first. The family ( biological and those I claim as family) were sitting around the table discussing children and pregnancy. My biological niece and my play niece both was pregnant and we was discussing their babies. My bio. niece is really pregnant by the way. Then, the dream changed. There was a knock at the door from a delivery man. My mother opened the door without question. Instead of delivering a package, the delivery man delivered a gun. He asked everyone for money and wallets. and then put the gun in my baby's mouth as an incentive to comply. Only my kid, no one elses. and somehow, someway, I moved backwards, like I was walking on air, shaking, as this man shot my 1 year old. and I woke up.

I been watching the door all day. Paranoid. the dream was too real. too vivid. too paranoid.


I hate dating, with a passion. but I know that's how you get to know folks more-in-person versus over the phone. The phone don't reveal facial expressions, verbal cues, non-verbal cues, emotions, etc. I am at the point, where I want to date more because I need help with the kids. I need mental and physical support because some days I feel like I am going to snap (but I can't--who will take care of my kids). I am not looking for love or sex or more kids (Thank you God, I am fixed). 

As most of you know, I have a 11 year old Autistic child. I also have a 16 month old child. My 11 year old is mostly non-verbal, not potty trained, slight ADHD, highly active. He means well most of the time, but it also can be frustrating. My 16 month old is developmentally delayed. He can not walk yet or talk yet. He also has fine motor issues. For example, He is still clawing at items to reach for it and shoveling food in his mouth (with both hands). I love both of my kids, but sometimes I want to get away for a few minutes (besides in the bathroom or when they are sleep). My only excitement is church. I love my church, but I miss concerts, plays, events, comedy clubs too. I am lonely--not lonely for a man, but for companionship of friends, hanging out, enjoying themselves. 

Until then, I am a 32 year old, African-American, Chubby, Celibate, Herpian, trying to maintain my sanity (what's left of it) without needing medication. If I break, I don't trust too many people to look after my kiddies. If I break, my kids suffer. If I break................Guess I go get in the shower soon.