I read I didn't know by Yvette Allen Tatum, in exchange for honest review from Write Now Literary Blog Tours. I received a paperback for review. This post contains Amazon affiliate links/images. This book discusses childhood sexual abuse. This post contains sensitive content.
ABOUT THE BOOK/WHY I CHOSE THIS BOOK TO REVIEW?
The book discusses identifying, confronting, and overcoming childhood sexual abuse. I never been sexually abused, but I thought this was an important topic to read about and share with others. I also recently found out a former college classmate is serving life in prison for child molestation. He is 40 years old. It was his third strike. Another former friend of mine also is spending 20 years in jail for child molestation. The power of Google. I just wanted to see what both was up too and found their prison records. It was a sad day.
I never thought these two men would never touch a child. They both had good jobs, had kids of their own, had certifications, degrees, etc. They both loved women as well. I don't know what made each go and commit their heinous deeds.
Next, I have been asked for sex by an older cousin (not biological) when I was a teenager. I walked away and never told anyone. I was a virgin and I was not going to sleep with a married cousin.
Third, another incident was when I was staying with someone in Atlanta. I had the webcam turned on, having a video chat over Skype or yahoo. The chat was generic, non sexual, when a child, walked by in the background, asking me for something. This man actually asked me if I would touch the child on the genitals. He would even pay me. I quickly shut down the chat and blocked him.
Finally, when I was an adult, I was walking down the street to a friend house. An older man, who was sitting in his yard, tried to talk to me. He thought I was underage. I told him, if he thought I was underage, why was he trying to talk to me. I kept walking. I did not entertain the conversation further.
In the book, the author not only shares her story of abuse, but shares other individual's stories. The book also teaches people, we need to:
- Identify sexual abuse of children
- Raise awareness about sexual abuse
- Know the signs and symptoms of sexual abuse
- Confront sexual abuse of children
- Believe the child and investigate all claims
- Error on the side of caution (the child).
- Stop believing the accused is always innocent.
- Overcome childhood sexual abuse.
The book is available in kindle and paperback.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Yvette is an author, teacher, conference host, licensed minister, Christian, and public speaker. She is also a graduate of Grace Christian College, where she completed a masters in divinity and a bachelors in theology. Next, Yvette has a bachelors in business administration with concentrations in finance and a minor in leadership studies. Finally, Yvette has over 30 years of tax income preparation and bookkeeping experience.
Second, Yvette founded Surrounded by Faith Ministries, which focuses on bringing women to Christ. She also wants to bring families closer together.
My Review:
The book is 102 pages of knowledge. The book appears thin, but within contains valuable information. I also love how the book is written from a Christian perspective. Tatum gives credit to the father. She also provides bible verses and chapters throughout the book.
I also like how the book provides a definition of childhood sexual abuse on page 1: Childhood sexual abuse is a form of child abuse, in which an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. Forms of child abuse include asking or pressuring a child to engage in sexual activities (regardless of outcome), indecent exposure of the genitals to a child, displaying pornography to a child, actual sexual contact against a child, physical contact with the child's genitals..., viewing of the child's genitalia for the purpose of sexual gratification, or using a child to produce child pornography (Allen-Tatum, pp. 14 to 15).
The book also contains a powerful poem on page 17 and 18 called
He touched me.
The author's background on her sexual abuse was hard to read. She was molested by four men before she turned 13 years old. She did not realize she was being molested until later. She did not know. The book teaches people to know when abuse is occurring. Know the signs and symptoms. Parents should also teach kids about appropriate and inappropriate touches. Parents should also consider the people, who we bring around our kids.
Next, the book provided 8 myths about childhood sexual abuse. Myth 1 applied to my former friends, who are now in jail.
Normal-appearing, well -educated, middle-class people don't molest children (p. 36). My friends appeared normal, but they had a secret past, which abused children. Myth 4:
Children who are being abused would immediately tell their parents. When I googled my former classmate, I found an article from
Former Classmate gets life in Jail, Georgia. The article said the molestation started in 2005, but the children did not tell their parents until 2010. My classmate was convicted in 2012. The children did not tell right away. The molestation continued for 5 years before the children said anything.
Then, the book discussed the
Underwear rule. The underwear rule:
a child should not be touched by others on parts of the body usually covered by their underwear. They should not touch others in those areas. Tell children it is not okay if someone looks at or touches their private parts or asks them to look at or touch someone else's private parts. (p. 46). Page 80 also provides a diagram of the offense cycle, which starts with deviant sexual fantasies and images, and ends with self-centered internal conflict. The book also has a chapter on forgiveness. To set yourself free from bitterness, hatred, and anger. It also includes forgiving others. This is the time to let God be God and let him do his work.
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