Kalen had his first (and hopefully last) seizure this weekend

On Friday, I wrote a book review, called Expecting with Hope, which discussed having a baby after a miscarriage, a loss, or a stillbirth. I discussed how Kalen, aka Midget,  was my miracle baby after two miscarriages.

In ER #kalen #midgetlove #midget #autism #staticencephalopathy #asd #gdd #globaldevelopmentaldisorder #spd #specialneeds #sensoryprocessingdisorder breath holding spell plus first seizure.

A photo posted by Stacie D Wyatt (@sdwyatt1980) on Nov 11, 2014 at 7:26pm PST

Kalen has Autism; Global Development Delays; Sensory Processing Disorder; and Static Encephalopathy (Breath Holding Spells--affects heart and brain).

On Saturday, Brad and Kalen was playing. Brad took a toy or something from Kalen. Midget started crying and went into the silent cries. Usually when he silent cries, I quickly grab him and lay him down. His neurologist, Dr. Diana, said this position will bring him back quick after he passes out. I grabbed Kalen, laid him down. He had his spell, came back to, and immediately went into a full blow seizure. NO NO and NO.

I used to have epilepsy. I had seizures. Brad used to have seizures when he was younger. Now, my baby inherited it from me.

Kalen was turning blue; his eyes was rolling back, and he was foaming at the mouth. My phone was buried in my bed since I carpet cleaned earlier. I knew it was dead. I called out for my mother, since she is a nurse. Kalen was non-responsive for minutes. I thought he had died for a second because I could not hear or feel his heart beat. After losing two babies, I was not/am not ready to lose Kalen or Brad.

I was an emotional, sobbing, wreck.

My niece called 911 and we moved Kalen into his bed.

Kalen became responsive for a minute after the 911 operator said to put a cold towel near him to wipe away foam. My niece decided to wipe his face with a real cold cloth. Kalen popped back up quick and laid back down, still unresponsive.

Kalen was eventually moved to a pallet on the floor downstairs, in the front room, with my niece, while I scrambled, with my mind gone, to pack a small bag with Kalen's shoes, pants, a shirt, my phone, charger, diapers, wipes, purse, insurance cards,  kindle, baby blanket, etc.

This child #kalen #midgetlove #midget

A video posted by Stacie D Wyatt (@sdwyatt1980) on Nov 11, 2014 at 9:03pm PST

The ambulance took us to the hospital. Kalen slept the whole time, until they had to take his blood and run an IV line.


While in the ER, I discovered two new shows on the forgotten channels. Some show with Deion Sanders and his bad kids AND some show with Shanice and Flex and mama daughter drama. Who is Heather Hannah?

Then, the destructor returned. He cried and wanted to be held at first, but then, he wanted to climb the equipment and irritate mama. He also had an MRI. His results came back normal, as usual.

Got discharged. Waited for my mother to come pick us  up. Found out another little girl, who was just discharged had a seizure too.

Hope this was Kalen's first and last seizure.

Have a blessed day

Stacie

Cant no seizure hold me down #midgetlove #midget #kalen

A video posted by Stacie D Wyatt (@sdwyatt1980) on Nov 11, 2014 at 8:53pm PST

He cleaning #midgetlove #midget #kalen

A video posted by Stacie D Wyatt (@sdwyatt1980) on Nov 11, 2014 at 9:21pm PST

Expecting with hope Book Review (Kregel Blog Tours)

Disclaimer: I was provided this book in exchange for honest review. All opinions are my own. No other compensation was provided.

I received Expecting with Hope in exchange for honest review from Kregel Blog Tours. I wanted to read the book because it touched me personally. The book was written by Teske Drake.

I had Brad Jr. in 2000. I did not get pregnant again until the ex and I separated in 2005. I was in pain for weeks. It took me longer to get around because of severe body pain. I thought it was my fibroids acting up. Toss in a few outbreaks, tummy aches, and headaches. I was done for. Pain medications was not working.

I went to the ER and found out I was pregnant. I lost the baby at 4 months. The pain won. I did not experience grief, at first,  because the pain was finally gone. Having the first miscarry was a horrible experience. I woke up in more pain, thought it was indigestion. The mucus plug dropped in the toilet, while I was hoping for a bowel movement. I went to the ER alone. The hospital staff was not helpful. I had to plead for them to change my sheets. Someone left the baby in a jar on the counter in my view. Even without glasses, I could see the jar and the fetus inside. I never wanted to experience another miscarriage again.

Grief came later. I got a letter in the mail from the OB/GYN. The letter was not needed. The letter told me the weight and other information about the baby, including the gender. I did not want a girl, but still I did not need to know after she passed.

Fast forward to 2009 and I found out I was pregnant. I was about 4 weeks along. Once again, I was in pain and went to the ER. The doctor told me I was at high risk for another miscarriage. I was devastated again. I lost the baby 3 days after finding out. I experienced grief immediately. I was in the hospital alone again. I never wanted to experience this pain again.

Kalen was my miracle baby. I found out I was pregnant about 5 months. I had got my annual woman check up a few months prior and I was told I was not pregnant. I was about 2 months along when I went. I went to the Bahamas, shortly after the check up, and drunk liquor. I don't remember my cycle stopping. I had no idea I was pregnant, until I felt some kicking pains. It was Kalen. I did not get insurance until 8 months. Medicaid moved so slow. I applied a few times before I was approved.

I am 30 years old, 5 months preggie, and no insurance. I went into hermit, more introverted mode. I did not want to be bothered. I didn't need the stress and I will kill someone, if I had to experience another miscarriage. Kalen came out healthy with 12 fingers. He also had a strange birthmark over his heart, which looked like a bullet, ricocheting out into a star pattern. I tied my tubes 30 days later. I hate labor and delivery, but I hate miscarriages more. I never want to experience the pain, the aloneness again. Miscarriages does something to your psyche.

I did this piece of artwork, when I was pregnant with Kalen. This is a memorial piece to my living kid and my kids, who never lived outside the womb. I did not know the sex of the second miscarry.

Book Review

The back of the book, first line, It takes a lot of courage to pick up this book. It takes a lot of courage to read and review this book. The book teaches about finding joy in pregnancy after a miscarry, a stillbirth, or infant loss.

I am not sure how I found my joy when I was pregnant with Kalen. I knew I did not want another miscarry. I did not have the mental capacity to handle another loss, which is why I am so protective of him now. Kalen has Autism, Sensory Processing Disorder, Global Development Delays, and Static Encephalopathy. Static Encephalopathy simply means breath holding spells.

When Kalen gets agitated, he goes into silent cries and then passes out. The disorder affects his brain and heart. He visits his neurologist and cardiologist every 6 months. If the frequency of attacks increase, Kalen will get another 24 hour holter. If they continue, he will have surgery to install a temporary, 3-year heart monitor, which has high risks.

I face fear and worry when it comes to him on a regular basis. He had a spell yesterday. His brother took something away from him. He came back to in seconds, but what if it was never.

The book discusses how God has a purpose in everything. I learned from the two miscarries, not to have sex with just any man. Just any man is not going to be there for you when you are going through something. I learned from miscarry #2 to have sex less. #2 helped start my journey into celibacy. I know that if my baby girl had lived, Kalen would not be born. I don't see myself with a houseful of kids, definitely not 4.

I also appreciate both of my kids more. Getting to do the things, I missed with Brad because I worked, I went to school, or when his father had primary custody for 5 years. I also had so much peace during pregnancy with Kalen because I did not bother with anyone. I was not having sex. I stayed at home.

One thing, which stood out the most was on page 27: You don't have to know what the future looks like because you can trust in the one who's ordained it. This requires faith and obedience to God.

You can purchase the book on Amazon in Paperback and kindle format. The paperback is prime-eligible. This week the book is on sale for 2.99 in Kindle format. The sale ends on Nov 9th, 2014 (Brad birthday)

Save the Children Campaign (Social Good Moms Global Team of 200)

I am writing this post as a member of Social Good Moms Save the Children Campaign. I am part of the global team of 200. Social Good provided the report. I created the other content.

Why Newborn Health is Important to Me?

November 9, 2000: My oldest son was born. I had no issues with labor and delivery since I was induced. I was still groggy and partially blind (since I was not wearing my glasses) when I was brought into my room for the next two days. Within minutes (it felt like minutes), my mother calls me and says my grandma had died. She didn’t say when, so I thought for years, my son was born and my grandma died on the same day. When in reality, my grandma died the day before.

Within minutes after my mother called, my ex walked into the room and said Brad almost died on the table. Since he was born late, he had some of the placenta and other yucky stuff caught in his throat. He survived. When they brought my baby into the room, my glasses were still not on. I thought they brought me the wrong baby. Brad had jaundice and was white as snow. Brad was also small. 5 lbs 15 oz. very tiny. Even the premmie clothes did not fit him. We had to pack his car seat with extra blankets and pillows to support his frame.

Later on, he was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD. I had a good job and he received prenatal care throughout the entire pregnancy.  Even though my former husband and I was working, we made too much money to get basic services. We was middle class broke. My insurance only paid for 1 session of speech and nothing else. They did not cover the services needed to get him treatment. Brad did not get services until he was five or six years old.

Fast forward to 2011. I found out I was pregnant again. I applied for Medicaid and it took 3 months to get approval. My youngest did not get prenatal care until the very end. I was calling for emergency Medicaid since I was over 30 and I already had one child with special needs. I had read reports that Kalen would have a high risk of having Autism because his brother has it.

Kalen was a healthy baby. He was born with 12 fingers. He also had a strange birthmark, around his heart. Looked like a black hole, with splatters surrounding it.  Kalen was also underweight until he turned two years old. He has a high risk of being short.

Kalen was diagnosed last year with a global developmental disorder. He was delayed in walking, talking, and fine motor skills. He also has an undetermined heart condition.

By this time, both kids have Medicaid. I found out about early intervention for Kalen a few months before he turned one. I was going to make sure WIC enrolled him in their early intervention program. He is currently receiving early childhood intervention. He also received physical therapy, but he graduated at 29 months, because he started walking. When Kalen turns 3, he can start preschool for developmental disabilities.

Both of my kids plus two miscarriages are why newborn health is important to me. I support prenatal care and early intervention efforts.

Save the Children Campaign

Social Good Moms (Global Team of 200) is raising awareness about newborn health.  Save the Children works in over 120 countries. According to a recent report, available on the website:

• 2 million newborn babies could be saved each year if we ended preventable newborn mortality.
• 1 million babies, who did not survive their first day in 2012.
• 2.9 million babies, who died within 28 days of birth in 2012. The number is four times higher in Africa than in Europe.
• 6.6 million children died from preventable causes before their 6th birthday in 2012. 18,000 children died daily.
• 1.2 million stillbirths in 2012.

The number of children, who died before age 5 has decreased since 1990, plenty of work needs to be done to prevent additional deaths. Some ideas include:

• Immunization
• Family Planning
• Treatment of illness
• An increase on ob/gyns, midwives, and other medical personnel. 
• Medical care for families, who can not afford to pay out of pocket.

Please check out Save The  Children’s website. If possible, please make a donation to the charity. You also can sponsor a child. Finally, you can volunteer and/or advocate for our children.

Stacie D. Wyatt

Death and Life

Wrote this in church on Sunday, after the sermon. The assistant pastor was discussing how he lost a child, which made me cry. I had two miscarries, which affected me deeply, so I understood his lost. Pastor O also discussed how people should rejoice in their lost. Thank the Lord, no matter what they are going through. Look for the good in the bad.
Some days I want kids, who are fully potty trained and an speak a bunch of words. I want to know what they are thinking and I don’t have to deal with major meltdowns and medications. Definitely no seizures. I want my kids to have friends, and not be excluded.


Yet, I can give thanks to God because it could have been worse. Brad could have died on the table at birth because the placenta got caught in his lungs, but God pulled him through. My grandma died the day before Brad was born (November 8, 2000). My great grandma died months before (May, 2000). Maybe he could have been seriously injured after having multiple seizures. Kalen could have had the same thing happen during his petit mal seizures.


I don’t know if my kids will ever deal with drugs, alcohol, or sex. I don’t know if my kids will ever date, get married, have girlfriends, go out on dates, or have kids.
I also have to think once again about the miscarries. I never planned on having kids. If I did, I only wanted two or three. If my two miscarries did not happen, Kalen might not have been here, but since they died, I do have a greater appreciation of both Kalen and Brad. I still hate labor and delivery. I am still not naturally maternal. I love my kids more. Thankful for them more. Appreciate them more. More protective of them more. Through death, it brings life. It brought me my youngest son and it also brought life to me.