Dating

I hate dating, with a passion. but I know that's how you get to know folks more-in-person versus over the phone. The phone don't reveal facial expressions, verbal cues, non-verbal cues, emotions, etc. I am at the point, where I want to date more because I need help with the kids. I need mental and physical support because some days I feel like I am going to snap (but I can't--who will take care of my kids). I am not looking for love or sex or more kids (Thank you God, I am fixed). 

As most of you know, I have a 11 year old Autistic child. I also have a 16 month old child. My 11 year old is mostly non-verbal, not potty trained, slight ADHD, highly active. He means well most of the time, but it also can be frustrating. My 16 month old is developmentally delayed. He can not walk yet or talk yet. He also has fine motor issues. For example, He is still clawing at items to reach for it and shoveling food in his mouth (with both hands). I love both of my kids, but sometimes I want to get away for a few minutes (besides in the bathroom or when they are sleep). My only excitement is church. I love my church, but I miss concerts, plays, events, comedy clubs too. I am lonely--not lonely for a man, but for companionship of friends, hanging out, enjoying themselves. 

Until then, I am a 32 year old, African-American, Chubby, Celibate, Herpian, trying to maintain my sanity (what's left of it) without needing medication. If I break, I don't trust too many people to look after my kiddies. If I break, my kids suffer. If I break................Guess I go get in the shower soon.