Tempted, Tested, True Book Review

I read Tempted, Tested, True, in exchange for review from Bethany House. The book was written by Arnie Cole and Michael Ross. I have discussed the book on my other blog, Celibacy Diaries, but have not done my full review for Bethany House. This is the full review.

I chose this book because I struggle with temptation. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with women' struggles. I struggled with sex addiction. When I saw the book review list for Bethany House, I had to have this book. I had to have a print edition. When it comes to celibacy, abstinence, sex addiction, etc, there is a lot of information out there. There are plenty of books written, but not too many is written from a Christian perspective. I wanted practical, spiritual knowledge, and this book does that. I am glad I got chosen for this book. I did not read this book from start to finish. I started the book at the beginning, then moved to the sections on sex addiction and shame. A lot of good passages stood out and I marked them big time. The book also takes about alcohol, anxiety, shame, temptation, men struggles, women struggles, releasing the past, and unmasking the real you. for this review, I am choosing to focus on the things, which affected me personally.

Chapter 8 discusses the story of Mark and how he struggled with sexual sin (pornography). Porn helped Mark cope with stress. But over time, his heart became darker and more hardened (p. 167). He was pretending everything was ok, when everything was not. He was addicted. His wife called in an intervention with their pastor because she suspected something was wrong. One line, which stood out was Porn is a counterfeit that can ruin our ability to experience the real thing (p. 171). Pornography can also be an idol and the Lord does not allow us to put idols before him. The chapter also discussed accountability. People need an accountability partner when they are struggling with addiction. The book also discussed ways to move forward past porn and sex addiction(. I wrote the steps on my other blog Celibacy Diaries). The book also does nudges after each chapter, with spaces to write down thoughts and concerns. For example, the nudge for chapter 8 focuses on shaking the shame. The section allowed you to think and write about soul-robbing traps; why breaking free is hard for you; and what you would like for Jesus to help you with.

Then, the book moves into toxic shame. First, the book discusses the difference between shame and guilt. "Guilt has to do with our behavior, what we do; shame, has to do with our identity, who we are" (p. 180). "Toxic shame causes us to expect the worst from ourselves because we believe that's who we are inside"(p. 180). We must let go of those thoughts, which say we are a loser, a failure, a disappointment, no use to God, etc (p. 181). This is something I definitely struggle with. There is also an amazing chart on the characteristics of shame, with space to list specific examples and emotions (p. 184). P. 185 also has a spiritual life rating scale. I am a level 3 believer. The scale starts at skeptic, seeker, believer, grace-filled, and servant-minded. You look at the characteristics of each row and determine where you fall in.  a worksheet follows immediately after to note your results. You will need access to a bible to complete some of the notes.

Chapter 9 focuses on Danielle's story. Danielle discussed how even when she knew the right thing to do, she did the wrong thing anyway. I knew having a lot of sex with random men was wrong, but i did it anyway. suffered the consequences too. A few passages, which stood out:

• Temptation is big and it's sneaky, and it knows my weak spots. It can tell when I'm wavering and slip in a zinger at just the perfect moment--sending me right back to square one. It doesn't have to be that way. More and more, I realize, there is a way out. (p. 197)
• No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it (p. 198).
• Your sin is not unbeatable. Your temptation isn't too big for God. You aren't even close to being the only one tempted in that way (p. 200). 

Finally, I will focus on the four stages of Temptation (Chapter 2) p. 54)

1. Enticement: starts with a pang of desire. a thought, a fantasy. what ifs. then eventually the decision to commit. go through the stages of intimacy: sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. 
2. Conception: desire becomes strong. wants to conceive the real thing, whether it's sex, or drugs, or alcohol, whatever it is. we continue to engage with our temptor and ignore God more. 
3. Gestation and growth: sin continues to grow. it affects us mentally, spiritually, and physically. we know the sin intimately. we are enjoying our secret lives. the temptation begins to define us: thoughts, identity, purpose.  we don't consider the long-term effects of the sin. we continue to live in darkness and the light can not penetrate us. 
4. Delivery: the sin matures. it gives birth to death inside of us. 

This is definitely a good book. Definitely will keep reading as temptation shows up in my life. The book felt like more than a regular non-fiction. More than another book to read once. It provided practical, biblical knowledge to temptation and the consequences of each temptation. 

Life is a bowl of cherries and two other reviews by Vanita Oelschlager

First, I read Life is a bowl of Cherries, in exchange for review by Vanita Oelschlager and Illustrated by Robin Hagan.

The cover of the book grabbed me at first. The book discusses silly food idioms, such as "flat as a pancake" or "the big cheese". The illustrations by Robin Hagan was amazing. I loved them. THe illustrations were colorful, graphic, funny, and comical. The book also discusses what idioms are.

Next, I read Ivan's great fall, in exchange for review from netgalley.com.

The book was presented in poetry, rhyming format. The book was illustrated by Kristin Blackwood. I loved the graphics, once again. The book showed Ivan moving from playing in the summer to heading to school in the fall. The book also provided classic poems at the end of the book, such as Casey at the Bat.

Finally, I read Ivy in bloom, in exchange for honest review from Netgalley.com.

I read Ivy in Bloom, in exchange for review from Netgalley.com. The book was based on a little girl named Ivy Van Allsberg. The graphics were excellent and colorful. The winter had dreary colors, while spring had brighter colors. The book also had poetry at the end from classic poets. I loved this book. The book also showed activities such as sledding, playing in snow, and Ivy laying in flower fields.

Farfalla: a story of loss and hope by Vanita Oelschlager

http://www.vanitabooks.com/

I read Farfalla, in exchange for review from Netgalley.Com. The book was written by Vanita Oelschlager and published by Vanita Books. First, I loved the graphics. They was amazing. The book tells the story of Little Beetle and the caterpillars. Little beetle plays with the caterpillars over the summer. One day, little Beetle notices the caterpillars are gone and misses his friends. His mother tells him about how caterpillars change. Towards the end, there was one cocoon left, and the little beetle names the butterfly Farfalla. The rest is for you to read.

The words were a little advanced for my boys, but I loved reading the book for myself. The book is a great read.

Damn Teenagers

What do you do when you see a teenager doing something stupid? Do you say something, hoping they would change (because they probably wont)? Do you tell their parents? (and they probably won't listen and accuse you of lying, even if you have proof).

Some teenagers today, think they have all the answers, but their solutions are stupid. Don't want to listen. don't want to do their homework. Don't want to go to school. Some want to get high, do drugs, and have lots of sex. but not always fond of the side effects of sex (STDS, KIDS, and EMOTIONS).

i was a good teenager. I went to class. I loved ROTC. i did my homework. never got detention, suspension. no trouble on my academic record. I was an average student, who did not talk to boys, until I was 18, and far far far far away from home. Then the trouble started, but I had my high school diploma. nothing more gratifying than being dressed in an elaborate gown, with a diamond-shaped hat, with tassel, walking across the stage, and being handed a diploma. YIPPEE COW YAH. More kids need to take my educational example. the rest...we leave it at education