Trazadone-Induced Dreams: The Voice and Truth of God.

 

12/7/2021

Last Night, I fell asleep watching Hoarders, between 10 and 11 pm, CST. I was super tired of completing a project for a class in software development, I'm taking. I took my Trazodone (50mg) earlier plus some CBD for sleep, because I really needed to sleep. 

Eventually, I had a dream, a dream, not like any other dream, because they are Trazadone-induced. I had strange and vivid dreams, in the past, but none like these. 

I was dreaming about the Masked Singer. The judges was Tim Allen, some woman, and Dick Van Dyke. It was time for a singer, to be unmasked, and one of her clues, was she was the voice of God. 

This lead Dick van Dyke and Tim Allen to go into a long monologue about the voice and truth of our heavenly father. It wasn't too preachy. They included bible verses. The audience was enthralled and wasn't offended. 

Once the monologue was finished, the singer with the deep voice of God, was revealed, and it was Eartha Kitt, who sung a short song, and then went for coffee in the sound booth. 

When I woke up, David Jeremiah was on A&E, discussing the truth of God. I watched a bit of him and Joyce Meyer before passing back out. 

I do wish my oldest was more verbal. Brad also takes Trazadone. This may explain his screaming and laughing in his sleep. 

Moving Beyond Anxiety by David Chadwick Book Review (Flyby Blog Promotions)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links.



I read Moving Beyond Anxiety by David Chadwick, in exchange for honest review for FlyBy Blog Promotions. I received a pdf and a paperback copy of the book. The book is written from a biblical perspective. Part 1 focuses on identifying anxiety, while Part 2 focuses on overcoming anxiety.

Part 1: Identifying Anxiety

I wanted to read this book because I have tons of fears and anxieties. Will my oldest son's behavior get us evicted from another place? Will my youngest die in his sleep from his seizures or sleep apnea or long QT syndrome? If I walk the kids to the store or laundry room, will they walk off or have a public meltdown? If yes, I rather not take them, at all, than risk it. If I die, what will happen to my kids? Will Kalen accidentally cause an infection to his self because he likes to self-injure by scratching? I had his heart monitor removed because it was broke and Kalen was scratching around the monitor.

I worry about my health. I have headaches, back pain, and joint pain. I barely had any sleep since March because my oldest has been waking up, mostly at 4/5 am to hit walls, doors, and the ceiling. For me, I listen to music, clean, walk outside for a second to breath to try to stay calm and focused on rough days. I also pray but many times, fear my prayers are not listened to or won't be answered. After all, it's been three months since Brad started banging walls and doors at 3 am and it still won't stop.

In the Chadwick provides 12 strategies to help with anxieties. One of the first things, which stood out was Chadwick defined anxiety and fear.

"Anxiety is thinking something bad might happen to you", while "Fear is the belief something bad will happen to you". Chadwick says that if we win the battle over our thoughts, then we will win the battle over anxiety. Bad thoughts lead bad feelings, which lead to bad behaviors. We have to renew our minds daily.

Anxiety and fear also can affect your prayer life and your relationship with God. The devil also has a part in worry, anxiety, and fear by implanting thoughts in your head, which increases anxiety; tempts you to engage in destructive behaviors; and affects your relationship with God. God wants our lives to be filled with peace and joy, which is something I definitely need more of. A quiet, peaceful household, even with two children, with special needs.

The book also focuses on the causes of anxiety. Rapid change, loneliness, failure, rejection, and fear of tomorrow are the ones, which hit home, to me. Just look at the past few months. Kids went from going out of school for Spring Break to being out for the rest of the year. Church was closed and went completely virtual. Their psychiatrist visits also went virtual. Clinic also implemented curbside pharmacy plus temperature checks. 

Both kids behaviors changed quick, which increased fear, anxiety, depression, and loneliness. Both of their medications have been adjusted, a few times to see if it helps. Toss in a outpatient surgery and a few visits for routine doctor visits and lab work.

I lost my breaks, during the day, along with sleep. I had to outsource laundry to my niece because they have elopement and other behavioral issues when going out in public. I had to learn to rely on more and accept help from others. We are all in this together. I am definitely grateful for Ms. Reen, Ms. Kim, Ms. MaryLynn, Hope for Three, Houston's First Baptist, during this time.

Part 2: Overcoming anxiety. 

To overcome anxiety, some of the solutions include focusing on faith; praying; singing; and getting Godly teammates. I have definitely prayed, begged, and pleaded during these last, few months, hoping any of my prayers would get answered. You have to embrace the little victories because God answers prayers in his time and not mine, which also causes anxiety. How long Lord, how long? (recorded a video of me, starting with that line, because I had enough of no sleep; enough of kids, staying at home, doing nothing but eating and running through data on my phone; enough of Brad waking up to hit the walls and doors; enough of broken furniture; enough of Kalen throwing toys and dishes around the home; enough of being hit, pushed, spit on, climbed on and over; enough of waiting on things to go right. not sure if I want to publish it or not).

I created a playlist on Amazon called Survival to help calm me down. It does bring some tears though. You toss enough Casting Crowns, Steven Curtis Chapman, Kirk Franklin, Smokie Norful, and CeCe Winans on a playlist, tears will come, especially when you are going through something.

"There is a hope, there is peace, that makes this life complete. For every man, woman, boy, and girl, looking for Heaven, in the real world" Steven Curtis Chapman. Heaven in the Real World

"I just want to get away from here. I just want fly away from what I see. Every time we fail, it falls on you, Another reason for the world, to not believe. See it don't feel right when we hurt and lie. and we judge inside because love's being erased. You can try and hide. No Sleep Tonight" Kirk Franklin. No Sleep Tonight. Don't get me started on the power of Stained Glass Masquerade by Casting Crowns.

Finally,have a few godly teammates to motivate and encourage you. Teammates, who will pray for you and bring positivity to your life.

The book is available in Kindle, Paperback, and Audio formats. The book is prime-eligible.

#FitMotion Finger Exercisers review (Tomoson)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links.

I received Fit Motion Finger Exercisers, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson. The exercisers comes in a set of three, ranging from light (pink), medium (green), and heavy (purple) strength. The light is for beginners and injured hands. The medium is for daily strenghtening. The heavy is for muscle toning.

I wanted the exercisers for anxiety because my kids drive me nuts. Last week was a bad week in special needs land. I had four strikes against me before the week ended. Brad had some behavior problems in church. I came down with a bad cold. My babysitter/niece completely pulled out on me, when I needed her. Finally, Aunt Flo showed up two weeks after her last visit. I was/am still stressed and sick.

I had issues at first with them, until I realized I was using them wrong. The thumb hole is the biggest hole. Then I put the exercisers on the other fingers, which made the exerciser a lot easier to manage/use. I had it for a few days and I am loving the massagers. The material is made from a type of rubber.

You can purchase the exercisers using the link above. The exercisers are prime-eligible.

New York Biology Sandalwood Oil Review (Tomoson)

Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links.

I received New York Biology's Sandalwood oil, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson. I never had sandalwood before and loved the scent to freshen up the house via the diffuser. I love the scent.

Other uses for Sandalwood include:

• Calming and Relaxation
• Anxiety and Stress
• Meditation
• Incense 

You can purchase the oil, using the link above. The oil is prime-eligible.



http://articles.mercola.com/herbal-oils/sandalwood-oil.aspx

Tempted, Tested, True Book Review

I read Tempted, Tested, True, in exchange for review from Bethany House. The book was written by Arnie Cole and Michael Ross. I have discussed the book on my other blog, Celibacy Diaries, but have not done my full review for Bethany House. This is the full review.

I chose this book because I struggle with temptation. I struggle with anxiety. I struggle with women' struggles. I struggled with sex addiction. When I saw the book review list for Bethany House, I had to have this book. I had to have a print edition. When it comes to celibacy, abstinence, sex addiction, etc, there is a lot of information out there. There are plenty of books written, but not too many is written from a Christian perspective. I wanted practical, spiritual knowledge, and this book does that. I am glad I got chosen for this book. I did not read this book from start to finish. I started the book at the beginning, then moved to the sections on sex addiction and shame. A lot of good passages stood out and I marked them big time. The book also takes about alcohol, anxiety, shame, temptation, men struggles, women struggles, releasing the past, and unmasking the real you. for this review, I am choosing to focus on the things, which affected me personally.

Chapter 8 discusses the story of Mark and how he struggled with sexual sin (pornography). Porn helped Mark cope with stress. But over time, his heart became darker and more hardened (p. 167). He was pretending everything was ok, when everything was not. He was addicted. His wife called in an intervention with their pastor because she suspected something was wrong. One line, which stood out was Porn is a counterfeit that can ruin our ability to experience the real thing (p. 171). Pornography can also be an idol and the Lord does not allow us to put idols before him. The chapter also discussed accountability. People need an accountability partner when they are struggling with addiction. The book also discussed ways to move forward past porn and sex addiction(. I wrote the steps on my other blog Celibacy Diaries). The book also does nudges after each chapter, with spaces to write down thoughts and concerns. For example, the nudge for chapter 8 focuses on shaking the shame. The section allowed you to think and write about soul-robbing traps; why breaking free is hard for you; and what you would like for Jesus to help you with.

Then, the book moves into toxic shame. First, the book discusses the difference between shame and guilt. "Guilt has to do with our behavior, what we do; shame, has to do with our identity, who we are" (p. 180). "Toxic shame causes us to expect the worst from ourselves because we believe that's who we are inside"(p. 180). We must let go of those thoughts, which say we are a loser, a failure, a disappointment, no use to God, etc (p. 181). This is something I definitely struggle with. There is also an amazing chart on the characteristics of shame, with space to list specific examples and emotions (p. 184). P. 185 also has a spiritual life rating scale. I am a level 3 believer. The scale starts at skeptic, seeker, believer, grace-filled, and servant-minded. You look at the characteristics of each row and determine where you fall in.  a worksheet follows immediately after to note your results. You will need access to a bible to complete some of the notes.

Chapter 9 focuses on Danielle's story. Danielle discussed how even when she knew the right thing to do, she did the wrong thing anyway. I knew having a lot of sex with random men was wrong, but i did it anyway. suffered the consequences too. A few passages, which stood out:

• Temptation is big and it's sneaky, and it knows my weak spots. It can tell when I'm wavering and slip in a zinger at just the perfect moment--sending me right back to square one. It doesn't have to be that way. More and more, I realize, there is a way out. (p. 197)
• No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it (p. 198).
• Your sin is not unbeatable. Your temptation isn't too big for God. You aren't even close to being the only one tempted in that way (p. 200). 

Finally, I will focus on the four stages of Temptation (Chapter 2) p. 54)

1. Enticement: starts with a pang of desire. a thought, a fantasy. what ifs. then eventually the decision to commit. go through the stages of intimacy: sight, sound, smell, taste, touch. 
2. Conception: desire becomes strong. wants to conceive the real thing, whether it's sex, or drugs, or alcohol, whatever it is. we continue to engage with our temptor and ignore God more. 
3. Gestation and growth: sin continues to grow. it affects us mentally, spiritually, and physically. we know the sin intimately. we are enjoying our secret lives. the temptation begins to define us: thoughts, identity, purpose.  we don't consider the long-term effects of the sin. we continue to live in darkness and the light can not penetrate us. 
4. Delivery: the sin matures. it gives birth to death inside of us. 

This is definitely a good book. Definitely will keep reading as temptation shows up in my life. The book felt like more than a regular non-fiction. More than another book to read once. It provided practical, biblical knowledge to temptation and the consequences of each temptation.