A Sunday in the life of a SPED parent: January, 11, 2015

I wrote this as the conclusion to Never Argue 2014. Please enjoy.

Stacie, Kalen, and Brad

For new readers, Brad, 14, had Autism and ADHD. Kalen, 3, had Autism; Global Developmental Delays; Sensory Processing Disorder, and Static Encephalopathy.

I knew the book had to come to an end, so I can start on Never Argue 2015. Yesterday was a horrible day. I was up all night watching Parenthood. I had taken a nap during the day because of a massive headache. My kids also woke up at various times during the night and finally stayed up for a few hours until the alarm for church went off.

I got up. Got them ready for church but with a lot of problems. Brad wanted to take his bath, immediately after Kalen and I got out. This is a problem because I wait until I get Kalen dressed before I get Brad in the tub. I also wait until I at least have some underwear on and maybe a t-shirt. Bathing Brad will get me soaking wet sometimes. No point in putting on all my clothes, if I still have to bathe him.

I had to quickly dress Kalen and rush into the bathroom to soap Brad down before he got out the tub.

Brad also wanted his tablet. The Samsung was dead. I didn’t have time to deal with charging his device, while trying to get dressed and finish packing their bags. I threw the device on my bed and continued to move around.

Brad had a fit over the tablet. Mama is the bitch but this was Sunday and we are going to church. I gave Brad his pants. He put them on backwards. He gave me a fit when I asked him to change them around. He also didn’t like Kalen being on the Nabi. The Nabi is now Kalen’s and Kalen was dressed.

I passed Brad his shirt, I picked out the night before. He put it on and I noticed some of the buttons was missing. I grabbed another button down shirt and Brad had ripped it in the middle. Nice shirts. Brad destroyed them both. I did not notice any of the defects when I put his clothes out on Saturday.

Then, the drama really started.  I gave Brad his slip on shoes. Brad did not want to put them on. He was having problems with them. Wasted time. He put his jacket on backwards. The church called and said they were a few minutes away. I grabbed my purse. I fixed Brad’s jacket. I told the kids to grab their backpacks, so we can start walking downstairs. Brad went downstairs, while Kalen refused to move. The migraine, I had from the day before, was coming back with a toothache, plus sinuses. I picked up Kalen to move downstairs, when I saw the church van pull off. We got left. I can’t blame the bus driver. I don’t know how many minutes he waited. I blame myself. If I had been better prepared. If I had finished packing their bags; If I had hid the tablets; If I picked Kalen up in the first place, and placed Brad’s favorite laced, tennis shoes, near him. If I had picked out shirts, which wasn’t ripped or torn or had buttons missing. Today was a mommy failure. I broke down. My head hurt. My tooth hurt. The van left us. I crawled back into bed and popped 3 pain pills. Yesterday was not my day. Yesterday was not perfect chaos.

And this ends Never Argue with an Autistic Child and Other Special Tales, 2015 edition. Hopefully 2015 will be better and a lot longer.

Brad acted up at school again. Yay me.: The joys of special needs parenting.

A few days ago, April 8^th, I had a call from Brad’s school. I hate these calls because I don’t know what to expect. A call never means Brad did something good.  The teacher said a student dropped some food in the trashcan during lunch. Brad wanted an apple from the trash and went to dig through the trash can. The aides told Brad to stop and Brad started wailing his arms and falling on the floor. In the process, he hit both of his aides in the face, in front of the assistant principal. The assistant principal had to restrain Brad and then, the staff got Brad back to the classroom.

Once Brad got in the classroom, he was throwing tables and chairs. Then, the phone calls started.  I was feeding the toddlers, when the first two calls came. I heard the phone ring, but could not answer it. After this, the front office calls and asks if I can come pick up brad.

My mother is sound asleep. I caught a ride with Willie C, Brad’s grandfather (my father), to go get Brad. 

When Brad got home, he still was erratic. He wants to scream and holler; throw items; knock over the house computer, etc. He even pushed Kalen, which caused a breath-holding spell. I gave Brad some melatonin but he did not calm down until hours later. 7 milliliters and he stayed woke until 9 or 10 p.m. 

I was trying to clean the game room so the toddlers can play safely. Kalen went to sleep after his spell. I laid Kalen on the couch so I could sweep and vacuum. Brad kept going near Kalen trying to wake him up. I ended up sitting the floor, using the vac hose to clean the floor, with Kalen in my lap.

I also called Brad’s psychiatrist and pediatrician to ask for help. The pediatrician never called back. The psych appointment is at the end of the month. Mental Health and Mental Retardation Authority of Harris County (MHMRA) called same day to see if I wanted to keep Brad on the waiting list. I said yes and also asked for help. MHMRA told me they would refer him to their clinic. If he obtains the referral, I can walk-in or make appointments for any concerns.

April 8^th, 2014 was a bad day. School year is almost over and I do not want to think about Brad being put out of school for behavior and aggression problems. When he was attending Thompson, the same thing happened. He had his problems throughout the year, but towards the end, his behavior was getting worse. I kept hearing from the bus drivers how the school wants to put Brad off the bus and out of school. Too much stress for mama to take.

Hopefully, the next two months goes better than normal. I am going to ask the psych to try a different medication other than Rispercrap (Risperidone). Brad is getting older, stronger, and taller. I need his behavior controlled 

Oh you going to school and riding the bus

Never Argue Book Cover

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This is an excerpt from my next book: Never Argue: 2014 Edition. I wrote Never Argue with an Autistic Child and other Special Tales, which detailed the last 6 months in 2012 of raising special needs kids. I should have started one for 2013. I am thinking about doing a giveaway for the book soon.

Brad at the Houston Zoo for the Walk with Me (Easter Seals)

I wrote this morning about Brad not wanting to get up and go to school.

This morning, Brad did not want to get out of bed and he definitely did not want to go to school. I woke him up at 7 am, as usual to shower. He got up, walked to the door, but did not leave the room. He went back to bed. At 7:30, I woke him up again and opened the door up for him. He took his shower, dried off, and went to play on the computer and tablet, as usual. At 8, as usual, I told him to get dressed. His bus comes around 8:30, but I like to be downstairs around 8:10 to 8:15 because of the time window (8:20 to 8:40). The bus has came at 8:20 once. If he misses the bus, I don’t have a car to get him to school. My mother gets home from work between 7:30 and 9:00, depending on traffic. If she gets home after 9, then he would be late for school. The traffic by Walters Road is AWFUL. There are three schools near Walters: Brad’s middle school, an elementary school, and my church’s school, which goes from pre-k to 8^th grade now, I think.

Brad riding a horse at Itz Willowbrook

The point of the bus is to get him to and from school. I did not sit in the IEP/ARD meeting, for my health, not to have him catch the bus. Brad was previously homeschooled for about a year and a half. I got tired of homeschool for various reasons:

• I got tired of him being at home
• I got tired of doing his work for him. His school knew Brad could not read or write, but wanted work turned in weekly. Most of the work was my handwriting, either hand over hand, or myself doing the work. His artwork was his and his alone. Scanning in a week’s worth of work on Friday did not help the case for homeschool either.
•  I got tired of live classes. Since it was homeschool, I wanted to work on my own schedule. Getting up extra early was not one of them. During the first year, I did get up at 8 or 9 am to go through the work, with him done by 1 pm. With the second year, I was too tired from dealing with two, active kids to get up by 8, unless it’s a doctors appointment or church. I wanted to start his work after 11 and work through the afternoon and part of the night. We also did work after midnight, if he did not want to go to sleep.

When I started the process to get him back in public school, one of the administrators told me since Brad did not ride the bus the year before, we had to have an ARD/IEP meeting for Brad can ride the bus. So to conclude, his butt is riding the bus to and from school each morning.

Relating to my grandma

My grandma, Areletha, was a mean witch, when she was living. She died the day (November 8, 2000) before Brad was born (November 9, 2000). I can’t think about her for personal and spiritual reasons, but she does pop up in my thoughts, every now and then. I probably inherited some of her traits: mean-ness and cleanliness (at times). One thing, I appreciated when I got older, was her stance on school. I had no issues with going to school. I loved it. Areletha believed if you could not go to school or church, you could not go anywhere else. If you wanted to go to the mall or hang with your friends, it’s a no, if you did not go to school for legitimate reasons. Brad did not want to go to school. He rather play with his devices. He misplaced his socks. He took extra minutes to put on his pants because he was watching Umi Zoomi on the tablet. He put his shirt on backwards. He took extra time putting on his socks and he definitely did not want to go downstairs to wait on the bus.

Yet, as the bus pulled up, Brad jr. gave me a hug, before he walked to the bus. I hope I don’t have to go through the drama when Kalen goes to school in May, but I will take the hugs.