The Autism Trap

 

An autism trap is an area of town where there is an high risk of something fundamentally happening. A high risk of elopement. A high risk of running into traffic and almost getting hit by a car or cars. A level five massive meltdown waiting to happen- no will happen. 

A situation where I am not physically or mentally equipped to deal with. Imagine trying to pull a 200-lb man back, when we weigh close to the same, from running into the street or out of the street. Having a concerned person call 911 for an assault versus an autistic meltdown. Hoping the officer is a CIRT trained officer.

Trying to manage both the meltdown and keeping Kalen within visual distance. Sometimes a concerned citizen offers to hold him while I deal with Brad. Knowing the officers can't do anything about the situation because the city will never admit my oldest , to a psych ward, because of his violence and aggression, in addition to him not being potty-trained. Just calm him down enough to put him back on the bus or wait on a ride or someone offering us a ride home.

I try to avoid the traps by using a Lyft or an Uber, if I have the funds, to get to certain places. If I have to ride the bus, I use Google maps, for any restaurants and other enticing places, which will increase the risk. If there is a risk I have to reconsider whether or not I need to go. My mama and niece also help drive me to places to avoid traps.

The Trip to Aarons:

My methods are not always the best. Last year, I rented a computer for a few months after my HP stream, started to act stupid. I don't like blogging from my phone let alone streaming any shows. I went to Aaron's and found a reasonable one that I could use. I mapped out the route to Aarons and did not see too many risks. It was one bus from my house. I wasn't sure how to get back home though without crossing highway. I could always ride the bus downtown and back. What I didn't notice was the McDonald's, on the other side of the highway next to Aldine high, but Brad did.

Brad tried to cross a multi-lane highway. Luckily I was able to hold him back from going into the road, but it was hard. Someone saw me struggling and offered me a way home. 

The Trip to get to Church:

Another incident was a few years ago, after I moved to my first apartment. My church at that time did not offer bus service to pick us up and drop us off from the new part of town. I knew I had to start looking for a new church but that proved difficult. Looking for the right church with a special needs program for both kids is a challenge, especially with brad, close to aging out. I tried a few churches but wasn't really feeling them. One church just walked my kids around the building until church was over. 

Another one had the special needs part closed one Sunday, Brad had a meltdown, and no one offered any assistance. Usually, Brad gets us attention during meltdowns, whether from an officer, security guard,  an administrator, or other concerned party.  I had to calm him down and then walk both kids home. No point in staying for the sermon. 

One of my favorites didn't like me using my Kindle and keyboard to take notes in the sanctuary. We don't do that here said one woman, who was sitting next to me. (Watch Seven Deadly Words on Amazon. It is about a new pastor at a church,, who faced opposition, when he tried to stray from tradition.). The woman definitely won't like my now because I moved to the laptop. Got tired of every Kindle not saving notes when I got a new one. My old notes would not transfer over to the new kindle, with the app, I used, so I decided to type notes using Google Docs. 

I got tired of trying new churches and I decided to attempt to catch the bus and walk to my old church one Sunday on Christmas. It was an hour bus ride plus a possible hour walk. Yes it was a challenge but I was determined to stay at my old church until Brad turned 18. We got to the last bus stop before we had to walk the rest of the way. We had to cross over Veterans memorial. Brad wanted McDonald's. Okay no problem. I got cash. we can get McDonald's. That can keep him busy while we walk.

We started walking toward the McDonald's and a problem happened. It was closed for Christmas. Massive meltdown. Massive elopement risk. Kalen was in a stroller. Veterans memorial is a multi-lane, multi-directional road and Brad ran out into this mess. Luckily, no cars were coming along the straightaways, but he almost got hit by a car from the turn lane. I had to literally leave boy 2 in the stroller along with our bags by ditch to chase him. God was with him. I was able to pull him back.

The police was called by someone, who saw the incident.  A church member saw us with the police trying to calm him down and gave us a ride to church and back. My mama gave us rides to church after that until it was no longer feasible to go. ( Brad had a scream fest. Said he was too much to handle. Gave us a ride home and recommended our current Church home)

Current Church

My current Church, while it is not a trap, had one incident where he bolted from the church parking lot, cross the road, and into the building. I had to run in the church, with bags, and a toddler, with one shoe on, to catch him. We did get introduced to a lovely lady who handed us a card for the churches clothing and pantry shelters because of Kalen's shoe issue. 

My mother had to start dropping us off directly in front of the church to avoid this issue or on the side in the disabled parking lot.

Aldine Bender/Aldine Westfield. 

Another trap, which I never ever want to experience is the Aldine Bender and Westfield Area, where Kalen's school and Brad's former special needs high school is located. The bus stop is on one side of the highway and Burger King, Popeyes , and Wendy's is on the other side highway. Across from Brad's old school is a Sonic and a McDonald's. When I had to drop Brad back off at school after an appointment, I use my niece or a ride share, or just left him home. It's not worth it to attempt to walk this trap through the highway. Sometimes, you get a good bus driver, who will let you off, on the other side, near Wendy's. 

Kalen's school called me the other week and wanted me to venture through the trap, by bus, which inspired this post. I could not, in good faith, venture through the trap, with Brad. It was an accident/incident, waiting to happen. I can walk this trap, solo, but not with Brad. Not only, do we have to cross over and avoid fast food, it is a good 15-20 minute walk through the grass and sidewalks. There is also a house, near Kalen's school with a dog. Even if I took the longer route, where I walk down Aldine-Westfield, turn on Aldine-Bender, and turn on the road, next to Kalen's school, I run into McDonalds and Wendy's as I get closer to Lane School (miss that place), which will cause another incident. 

What are some Autism traps in your area?

Thank you for reading. Have a blessed day.