Do I get an award for this?

I am fucking envious of people, who live in the lap of luxury, with things like bathroom doors; bedroom doors; no holes in walls; a simple dining room table and chairs. Why am I not allowed to have these things, long term? What did I do wrong? Did I offend God in some way to keep living in a state of brokenness? Is there a reward, maybe a certificate of achievement for getting through each day, keeping yourself and two, kids with special needs alive? For not running away from home during or after, every meltdown?

Brad has gone super postal, the last few days, especially during dinner time. He broke the bathroom door again. It was a bedroom door, I found by the dumpster, after Brad broke the original bedroom and bathroom door. I put the door on the bathroom, even though it didn't fit, to have a bit of privacy. 

Brad also broke the living room window again, for the 5th time. Just went up to it and hit it hard, without any warning. No idea what triggered him. Texas has a flash flood warning, along with a tornado warning today. 

Finally, Brad decided to re-open a hole, I keep fixing, with exposed wires. My son hit the wall, but he also pulled the loose sheet rock pieces, down. Glad I have spare sheetrock. Maintenance left a few bigger pieces in the dumpster and I grabbed them because I knew, I would need them. No going to Home Depot for a while, at least for sheetrock slabs. (Link for 5/8 inch sheetrock, just in case you need it). I fixed the hole again, this morning. 

Eventually, he took a nap and woke back up. Brad is still hitting the walls, doors, and windows, when I last edited this post.