Saturday, January 25, 2014

Available but not ready Summary by Kenny Pugh

Image taken from Amazon. 
Disclaimer: This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links and Images.

Topic: Available but not ready, featuring Terry Scott, who wrote Available But Not Ready: Things to Consider before Dating, Courting and Marriage.

When: Monday, January 20th, 2014
Hosted by Kenny Pugh

What I learned:

  • People move from relationship to relationship without purging themselves of the past. People are not prepared for a new relationship because they are carrying baggage from old relationships. 
  • People place too much emphasis on sex. Sex does not maintain a relationship. 
  • People want to be in love and jump in relationships, they are not ready for.
  • People get married without knowing who they are. They may not know what their godly purpose is yet. Either Pugh or Scott said sometimes God calls you into ministry after the "I do's". The calling can break up a marriage, if both parties are not willing to make things work. 

Application into my life:

I got married quick, when I was 19 years old. I only knew him a year. We met in January, 1999 and was married exactly a year later. I thought I was in love, but I am not sure now. I hear all these stories about people, who have feelings for their exes, blah blah blah, and I don't have any feelings for the former mister. The relationship had red flags before and after the marriage, including a big sign from God, which I don't talk about, and I ignored them because I thought I was in love and wanted to prove a point. I don't even remember a proposal. That year moved quick. 

For example, I did not want to date a man with kids. I was young and had no intentions of being a mom or stepmom. Before meeting Brad sr., I turned down two good men because they had a child. There was a sexy, Caucasian man named Eric, who lived in the Macon area. 

All my life, I heard I wasn't feminine enough to get a man because I didn't care for hair, make-up, and nails. I was picked on for being fat. So, when someone actually wanted to marry me, I jumped on it without thinking of the ramifications. 

Then, we break into the last point: People get married without knowing who they are. They may not know what their Godly purpose is yet. Sometimes God calls you into ministry after saying I do. Your spouse may not be ready to accept your new calling. 

My old church had promoted Brad to a deacon, which I hated. They promoted him without talking to both of us. I have no idea what qualifies someone as a deacon. I am a Christian, but I don't think I am Christian enough to be a pastor's, minister's, or deacon's wife. The calling may have been my exes but it was not mine.

I left the church eventually for a church, I loved. They had a class for Brad, so I can get what I need and Brad can get what he needs. :-). That is one reason, I love bigger churches. Even my current church as a wonderful special needs program. Touch screen computer. iPads. Fine motor skills toys. Swing. Bean bags. Lots of room to move around. Socialization skills. 

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