Friday, August 2, 2013

Finding the good in grief by John F. Baggett (Kregel Blog Tours)

I read Finding the Good in Grief, in exchange for honest review from Kregel Blog Tours. I wanted to read this book because at the time, I was thinking about my former miscarriages. I received a paperback version of the book. I never really grieved over anyone close to me dying, except the unknown babies. My great grandma died in  May, 2000. Could not grieve. I was two months pregnant with a new job, and my job would not let me off work to attend the funeral. One of the reasons I was moved from a temp to a new hire was because of the pregnancy. My inspector from my former department recommended me because I was pregnant. I was a new hire and had not acquired vacation days yet. She died a few days before orientation. I needed the insurance because it was one of those 100% hospitalization plans. I was divided but my grandma and family was visiting the following week.

My grandma died in 2000 as well. She died on November 8th, the day before Brad was born. I did not find out she died until after I had the baby. I thought she died on 9th for the longest until I saw the obituary years later. I had no time to grieve because I was busy with Brad.

I really felt grief after the second miscarry. The first miscarry didn't cause too much grief. I was in pain. Immeasurable pain for the longest. I did not tell anyone. What took me 5 minutes to walk to the bus stop to get to school at that time, now took me 30 to 40 minutes because of the pain I was in. Everything from the back, legs, and feminine areas was in pain. Not to mention the fibroids was acting up, plus back to back Herpes outbreaks. The second miscarry made me question everything: men, relationships, and sex. This one lead me to celibacy, very slowly

Anyway, back to the book:

Dr.Baggett discussed how he lost his son, not to death, but to schizophrenia. I never thought about grief from that standpoint-losing a child, even a parent, or someone close to mental illness. I noticed my kids had mental disorders early.

The book is a short book, consisting of 5 chapters or steps:

Step 1: Trust God and Rely on Others
Step 2: Choose reality instead of illustion
Step 3: Resist the temptation to get stuck
Step 4: Recognize moments of grace
Step 5: Discover new meaning and purpose

Each step also discusses a few sub-steps of grieving. For example. Step 1 discusses shock, while step 2 discusses denial, escape, and victimization. Step 3 discusses questioning, anger, and depression. Step 4 discusses acceptance. Step 5 discusses calling and affirmation. 

I also liked how each chapter ended in discussion questions, with some room to write your answers. This book is great for personal or small group bible study. 

To give you an idea of the first chapter, here are some of the things I highlighted:
  1. Grief is universal. Everyone will experience emotional pain. 
  2. Grief is a social experience. When something bad happens, it affects more than one person. 
  3. Grief is normal. It is not a sign of weakness. 
  4. Grief helps emotional and physical healing. 
  5. Grief can help us draw closer 
  6. Acceptance helps us heal and move on with life. 
This was a great read. I highlighted a lot of passages throughout the book. 

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Please leave a comment. Thank you. Stacie