#BehindTheBlogger: I can only Imagine

#BehindTheBlogger: I can only Imagine

My whole world

7/29/2014 8:33 a.m.

As I write this, I am sitting in the waiting room for the heart department. Kalen is having a heaart monitor installed to determine if he has long qt syndrome. From what I understand, the heart pulses and pauses. When the pause is longer than normal, it can cause heart problems, not to mention death. Kalen is the king of normal test results. Even though he has problems, he always passes his tests with normal results, leaving the doctors to figure out alternative ways to figure out if he has additional diagnoses.

The theme of this post is I can only imagine. I have an active imagination. My mind wanders from the subdued to the insane. When I saw the title, I thought of Mercy Me's song, I can only Imagine.

What can I imagine today?

I can imagine Brad can use the potty, eliminating the need for me to buy pull-ups. He has been approved for Medicaid to help him pay for his medical supplies, but if he would just go on the potty, it would be a lifesaver.

I can imagine me with increased income and a nice, 1 story, 2 -3 bedroom house, 2 bathrooms, with a fenced in front and backyard, just in case the brats try to escape.

I can imagine a husband, who will help me with these special needs kids. I know love is important, but I could use companionship and help with the kids more.

I can imagine me on a Carnival Cruise, drinking at the bar, in a place called Serenity, where no kids are allowed at all. Just me and my daiquiri.

I can imagine Texas building a space for low functioning special needs kids. Some days, Brad acts a plum fool and I can't control him at all, even with meds. My bruises have almost healed snce the last #Behind the blogger post. He needs help but I don't want to sit at a crisis management center for over 24 hours, each time, he gets out of control, only to tell me they can't do anything.

I can imagine a nice cup of hot cocoa right now with marshmallows and some biscotti on the side.

9:13 p.m.

and I can definitely imagine my kids sleep right now. It's been a long day.



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