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Thursday, February 21, 2013

Will I ever have sex again? No will I ever be completely ready

wrote this back in January, but forgot it was in draft mode.

I havent had sex since November, 2010. Prior to this, I experienced a loss of sex drive since my last miscarriage in 2009. The second miscarriage led to me not wanting sex as much. It also lead to postpartum depression. I went from having sex with a lot of men on a weekly basis to a few men, spread out over the month. I hardly added new men to the mix after that. All regulars-all repeats.

Fast forward two years later- I have two wonderful kids. I want to date, but scared to. I also don't want to fall back into old habits. I don't (right now) want to have sex (for the time being until an indefinite time). I don't want to be pressured into having sex again (by any man). If I have sex, I may acquire my old taste and old addictions (toys, masturbation, and of course sex). I was a nymphomaniac. I was a sex addicted.

Then, I have to consider the possibility that my skills (no matter how average) may have declined. Toss in a few new missing teeth (since I am a-scared of the dentist) and I am not wanting to sex anything for a long time.

A dude asked for my time this weekend and I could not give him a definite yes. I have myself and my kids to think about. I want to date but not sure if this is the right time.

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Please leave a comment. Thank you. Stacie