Friday, July 27, 2012

Kalen and my glasses

Kalen has developed a fascination with my glasses. He wants to pull them off all the time. Mama need to see., but Kalen not having that lol

Thursday, July 19, 2012

7/19/2012 1:47 PM

Day 1, Patch 1 of DayTrana. Within the first five minutes, Brad removed the patch. Took me 10 minutes to find it and I placed the patch in a different location. He found the new location within 30 minutes. I also gave him his Risperdal to control his behavior. I still had to deal with meltdowns today though. He had one because he was hungry, but I was trying to feed Kalen and Sariyah (my great-niece), so he had to wait. When I did finally start fixing him some food, he had another meltdown because Brad wanted the food to be cooked faster. Food got done. Fixed his plate. Got upstairs and he has another meltdown because he can not find his remote. To top it off, my mother has been getting on my last nerves about that lost patch and wants me to put another one on. One patch per day is what the instructions say. I am not going to keep medicating him on top of medicating him so that others don’t have to deal with him. Fuck that damn patch. If she wants him to have it, then she can look for a thin, clear patch on these nasty floors. The patch is all she been talking about for the past few hours. I am tired. I already hate giving him medication because I do not see good results and it has been three months.

People do not seem to realize my life is not all about them. I have kids, school, and church. I have things I want to do, but cannot, because I do not have a ride or I do not know how Brad will react. At times, I feel people feel Brad is an inconvenience. Like I told them before, I can get a job, get my own place, and go back to seeing relatives once a year. Out of sight, out of mind. My relatives can watch my kids grow up via Facebook, Twitter, and Blogger.

DayTrana Day 1 Patch 1

Yesterday, Brad has his 3^rd psychiatrist appointment. Brad has been more aggressive within the last month. He pushed his brother down a half-flight of steps. He also tried to hit his brother with a stick. I am just tired of the aggression. I am afraid he will seriously hurt Kalen. The doctor kept him on the Risperdal and added DayTrana. Took 10 pharmacies to fill this prescription. Either they was out of one or out of both. Walgreens # 3 was the final stop and they had both. I do not know if these DayTrana Patches will work, but this will be a long 30 days.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Need a break

Some days I want to scream, holler, and I need a break. Raising two children, who require constant attention, in addition to attending graduate school, requires a lot of patience, understanding, and maintaining my temper. Some days I want to snap in two, dealing with both boys and trying to complete schoolwork. Oh yeah I still have to deal with the other relatives, who live here (mother, niece, great niece, uncle, the occasional nephew, and the rest, who show up). My only break is at church, provided my children act right and the early childhood department does not find or page me. Other than that, where I go, the kids go. If I go to the potty, there is a high chance, Brad will knock on the door or come in, if I forget to lock the door. At other times, Kalen (and/or my great niece) is in their rockers, while I bathe, because I do not want Brad to mess with them, while I take a quick shower.

These children, school, church, and internet are my only sources of entertainment. I do not date, smoke, or have sex (by choice). I only had 2 samples of free liquor at HEB within the past year. I just want to find a place to scream, to get a release, without going more crazier than I am right now.

The Joys of an Autistic Mom.

Stacie D. Wyatt