7/19/12 1:47 p.m.

7/19/2012 1:47 PM

Day 1, Patch 1 of DayTrana. Within the first five minutes, Brad removed the patch. Took me 10 minutes to find it and I placed the patch in a different location. He found the new location within 30 minutes. I also gave him his Risperdal to control his behavior. I still had to deal with meltdowns today though. He had one because he was hungry, but I was trying to feed Kalen and Sariyah (my great-niece), so he had to wait. When I did finally start fixing him some food, he had another meltdown because Brad wanted the food to be cooked faster. Food got done. Fixed his plate. Got upstairs and he has another meltdown because he can not find his remote. To top it off, my mother has been getting on my last nerves about that lost patch and wants me to put another one on. One patch per day is what the instructions say. I am not going to keep medicating him on top of medicating him so that others don’t have to deal with him. Fuck that damn patch. If she wants him to have it, then she can look for a thin, clear patch on these nasty floors. The patch is all she been talking about for the past few hours. I am tired.  I already hate giving him medication because I do not see good results and it has been three months.

People do not seem to realize my life is not all about them. I have kids, school, and church. I have things I want to do, but cannot, because I do not have a ride or I do not know how Brad will react. At times, I feel people feel Brad is an inconvenience. Like I told them before, I can get a job, get my own place, and go back to seeing relatives once a year. Out of sight, out of mind. My relatives can watch my kids grow up via Facebook, Twitter, and Blogger.