Dating and the Single Parent by Ron L. Deal

Dating and the Single Parent Review by Ron L. Deal

I received this book, in exchange for review from Bethany House. I read Dating and the Single Parent within the last week and I truly enjoyed this book. I didn’t read the book from the beginning, but started at chapters most relevant to me. I chose this book because one day I want to date, but I need to date the right way, versus may way. I also have two special kids, which adds additional challenges to dating.

The first section, which stood out was Appendix 2, the sample purity pledge. I am currently celibate. Some days I want to date, but I need to date within God’s guidelines. The book listed activities for dating couples to engage in, such as light kissing and hugging, without being sexual or giving in to temptation. The book also discussed how couples should get a mentor to talk to, if they are tempted. Finally, the section provided bible verses, which related to sexual purity.

Next, I enjoyed the first three chapters, which discussed dating with kids and dating readiness. The book states that individuals need to have a purpose in dating. The purpose need to have God put first. The book also discussed how people are selfish in dating. Some people date to find a (wo)man for them, companionship for them; love for them, but neglect to think about how the (wo)man will affect their kids. How will this person influence the kids? If a man is willing to date me and my two kids, I should consider how he will affect me, as well as them. His influence can affect their lives for eternity, which is why the couples should share similar spiritual beliefs (p. 31).

People also need to determine if they are truly ready to date. Individuals need to look at past dating patterns. Have you matured and learned from those relationships OR are you still stuck doing the same thing (p. 33). Do you trust God the same, more, or less during relationships? Do you put God to the side when dating? Do your mate believe in God? Can you trust the person? How does he treat the kids? How do the kids treat him? All of these questions need to be answered when pursuing a Christian-Godly-based relationship.

Other things which stood out in the book:
Not rushing dating or marriage. Take your time to get to know the person. Stay true to your purpose. Get to know them on a mental, instead of a physical level.
Trust in God to manage the relationship.
In many cases, the kids and the significant other will compete for attention.
Date for at least two years before considering marriage. Don’t date for at least two years after the divorce.
Discernment Discernment Discernment. If something don’t feel right, leave.
Know how your personality affects relationships.

I loved this book. The book was just what I needed right now.

My grandma drove a mercedes (and a jag)

My grandma drove a Mercedes and a Jag. She was so into her cars, she bought the 300 dollar official tires, rather than the regular ones from the store. The cars were premium, but they ran like poop. One of those cars drove slow as heck, and not from my grandma driving slow as heck (which she did). The Jag stayed broken down a lot.

In the black neighborhood, I grew up in, people thought we was rich because Mama Areletha had a Merc. We was broke. We was on food stamps, when paper stamps existed. We had the white cans of food, with black lettering. Ham, Cheese, Peanut butter, etc. I ate syrup sandwiches, which was real good. Some days, we had no food to eat. Some days, we had it good and other days, we had it bad. Maybe this is why I am not into name brand anything. I will wear hand me downs, with no issues. I can go months and months without buying new clothes for me or the kiddies. For the kiddies, I always buy bigger anyway, so they can grow into it. I only went to my prom, to eat. Had a free ticket. Had a dress from an old ROTC event. On a side note, sometimes the best part of ROTC events was the food. Mother drove me and I went straight for the buffet. I was hungry.

One day, I went on a field trip to an Astros game with the neighborhood center. The driver, a grown ass-man, asked me for money for him, because I was good for it, since my grandma was perceived rich. almost cussed that fool out, but I was a good girl then. He asked me for 20 bucks. I was a minor and this fool, was asking me for money, based on his perception of my grandma.

The Merc in my poem, Mercedes fantasy, was based on my grandma's cars. Sometimes people perceive others as one way, based on possessions. I had a woman tell me, I thought i was better than her because I had a contract phone, instead of a prepaid. Or my grandma telling me i was better than her because i wanted to do homework for a change, while in college.

I have a high school diploma. I have a college degree. I have kids. I wrote a book. but I have no official job, other than mother, poet, book reviewer, product reviewer, writer, church member, sister, daughter, aunt, niece, cousin, friend, confidant, graduate student, and that crazy lady. I have no car. I have special needs kids, with unique problems. My books-sold more free copies than royalties. I am appreciative though of the 17 bucks I got from Lulu. I have problems, some people will never be aware of. Looking at me from the outside, does not show you who I truly am. I may not never drive a Mercedes (I don't have the desire to anyway), but may have a Mercedes lifestyle (which I don't). My personality is worth more than that.

Stacie Dorletha Wyatt, Poetress. Writer, Future PHD person lol.

Celibacy

don't want to explain why i am going without, when i used to never go without
don't want to explain how i went from nymph to ain't getting none
by choice that is
don't want to explain why i never gave you the chance then,
yet, you still not getting none now
WOW
i hope you're not waiting on me because you wasn't too much of a thought before
don't want to explain why i gave up free porn and deleted my naked pics and flicks
gave up the chocolate stick for some piece
peace of mind that is
mind was clouded by penis, dick,
always had to have my weekly fix
withdrawal symptoms was a bitch.
couldn't even go two weeks without a hit.
addicktion at it's finest
sex was my highness.
placed upon a pedestal,
won a few gold medals,
but sex was me and I was it.
had to take a indefinite break from dick.
mind was sick, twisted, conflicted
rather have sex than to eat, sleep, breathe
was in too deep,
falling into a shallow grave of meaningless penises
throwing away emotions for orgasms
feeling empty and more emptier inside.
I had to let sex slide
control it, instead of it controlling me.
sex fiend

Copyright. September 5, 2012. Stacie D. Wyatt

Mercedes Fantasy

fancy cars, parked in the driveway
mercedes, lexus coupe, cadillac

from the outside, they are first-class vehicles
but on the inside, they are filled with trash.

people riding around first class, but struggling to make food last
bills not paid early or on time
but they driving around in the latest ride.

trying to keep up with the Broke-sies,
because they can't catch up to the Jones

styling and profiling, to their friends and family
but don't even have a mortgage or a lease

PLEASE
people need to live within their means
trying to go from alienation to acceptance by the masses
don't even have a drop of soap to wash their ashy asses

living like peasants to obtain the latest pleasures
measuring his/her worth by the envy of others
but man is not measured by his goods or worth alone
can't take the Mercedes with you once you gone.
all alone
and the title, you still don't own

worried about the repo man and your limited status
some people need to take off those lexus-colored glasses
see the forest through the trees
get down on your knees,
and pray to God, he will bless you with the things you need
the things you want are temporary, fleeting
never know when the pleasure will be ending

living a mercedes fantasy, with a Pinto reality.

You can have the finest clothes
Ride around in premium cars
People think you are a star
VIP passes, unlimited access to ass
Perceived, outside living classy
But the insides are nasty, trashy, dusty, and ashy
Perpetuating the myth, “I got it”
Envy me, want me,
Never can you touch me, reach me
Wash, rinse, repeat, cycle keep repeating
Kids need food to eat
Rent due last week
Toes protruding from your shoes
Still living that Mercedes fantasy, as if you have nothing to lose

But your soul-it got holes
Possessions don’t fill the voids
Going through the motions of life
Robot-body, Mercedes life
Brain acting mechanical, producing no real though
Just happy with the status from the crap you bought

Copyright: Stacie D. Wyatt October 26, 2012/October 27, 2012.

Damn Teenagers

What do you do when you see a teenager doing something stupid? Do you say something, hoping they would change (because they probably wont)? Do you tell their parents? (and they probably won't listen and accuse you of lying, even if you have proof).

Some teenagers today, think they have all the answers, but their solutions are stupid. Don't want to listen. don't want to do their homework. Don't want to go to school. Some want to get high, do drugs, and have lots of sex. but not always fond of the side effects of sex (STDS, KIDS, and EMOTIONS).

i was a good teenager. I went to class. I loved ROTC. i did my homework. never got detention, suspension. no trouble on my academic record. I was an average student, who did not talk to boys, until I was 18, and far far far far away from home. Then the trouble started, but I had my high school diploma. nothing more gratifying than being dressed in an elaborate gown, with a diamond-shaped hat, with tassel, walking across the stage, and being handed a diploma. YIPPEE COW YAH. More kids need to take my educational example. the rest...we leave it at education

Come on over to my side

Come on over to my side was the message preached in church on Sunday. I attend Fallbrook Church, pastored by Mike Pender. During each message, I think of ways I can apply the sermon to my life. Come on over to my side applied to my celibacy journey.

The pastor discussed how people don't want to make sacrifices for their walk. People still want to party, drink, have sex. Basically, lead a hedonistic lifestyle. Our lives are filled with unlimited indulgence, which takes priority over God. Yet, our fleshly cravings are temporal, meaningless. We are still lonely, empty, and our hearts may be hardened.

Sex used to be satisfying to me, but I developed an addiction for more. More men, more toys, more masturbation, more toys. I wanted more and I got more. The more I got, the less emotions I put towards me. I didn't care about them, no more than they cared about me. Sex was a short-time pleasure. I had more one-night stands than repeats. I didnt care about them-men was just a penis to me. Yet I was still lonely, still empty inside. My heart hardened more towards men folks (and I still have issues, I am working out.)

The pastor discussed how fun was fleeting, temporary. If we live our lives for fun, we will have trouble. We can not depend on fun to be satisfied in the Lord. Nothing will bring us happiness, like God can. If we give ourselves to want and pleasure, it causes death, even while living. I was dead inside. I cared more about the next orgasm, the next toy, the next penis, than I did the man.

People are exhausted. We use temporary pleasures to relieve pain, but the pain is still there. I had sex for fun, for pleasure, for attention, for a place to stay, for money, for love, to relieve boredom, etc. but all that sex with all those men was not good for me in the long run. It hurts to think about my sex count or some of the bad experiences. For example, I used to stay in the projects. After 11 pm, the family I was staying with, locked the screen doors. If I was not coming home from work or school, I sometimes could not get in the house. Anyway, this dude wanted to have sex. I said yes. Told him, I would have to spend the night because I may not get back in my house. He said cool. Turns out, he had to go to work at 3 am. I had to wait in the dark, at the nearest train station, from 3 something to 445, to catch a train to get home. I was scared and I deleted his number. Situations like this made me despise men, in general more (not all men, just some). Yet, i started having sex more during the mornings and afternoons, instead of nites. Nights were reserved for long-time repeat fucks, who wouldnt try to leave me stranded or in similar situations. Men, I trusted more. I was a mess.

Currently, I have been celibate for almost 2 years. I have not watched porn in almost a year. I still struggle with sexual thoughts and masturbation (but not as much as I used to ). I am also taking a purity course for porn addiction. I want to be better, get better, and grow in the Lord.

The Wonderland Alphabet by Althea Kontis

I read the Wonderland Alphabet for review from Netgalley.com. I loved this book, and so did my kids. I loved how the book used characters from Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass (Alice, The Duchess, Queen of Hearts, The jabberwockey, tweedle dee and tweedle dum, for example). Each page also rhymed and was full of satire, wit, and humor. The book was a wonderful read.

Surfing for God: Discovering the divine desire beneath sexual struggle

I reviewed Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick for Booksneeze.com

The book gave me trouble at first. I don't have a kindle--I have kindle for pc and cloud reader for chrome. My kindle for pc kept freezing up as I tried to read this book. I heard about the book before and was glad to see it up for review.

I struggled with sexuality and pornography in the past. As of now, I been celibate for almost 2 years and have not viewed porn in over a year. I started deactivating my porn sites, last year (at least the ones I know of)to reduce the temptation to look. I was a mess and I found peace during my celibate journey. I am trying to avoid anything, which may lead me back to having sex again, for all the wrong reasons. Even signed up for a purity course, which is taking me forever to complete.

This book gave me hope, strength to continue my celibate journey. I still struggle with sexual thoughts, but I have a renewed sense of purpose.

I enjoyed the introduction story--sometimes we give part of ourselves away, in exchange for something better--but we are damaging our souls and bodies, without realizing it. I gave away pieces of me, thinking it would be ok, but it was slowly killing me mentally.

I highly recommend this book for purchase.

BryBelly 1st product review

Stainless steel slide under cup holder

96 inch texas holdem table top cover

I received a table cover and cup holder from brybelly.com for review. First, the cover fit perfectly (with a little extra room) over the table in the den. The product is also waterproof and protects the table from stains. My kids also used the cover as a cap, so the cover has multiple uses. For example, the cover was used to protect my bed, while I laundered my mattress pads and other bedding. I definitely would recommend this product for poker users and/or other inventive homemakers.

Next, the cup also provided multiple uses. I used it to store coins, water bottles, pins, pens, paint, and other trinkets/craft objects for my sons. I would recommend the cup as well.

My baby has seizures excerpt

My baby has seizures-absent or petit mal to be exact. It started weeks ago. He was crawling in the hallway, getting ready to turn the corner into my room, and he fell out. Unresponsive for a few minutes. Doctors found nothing wrong. My baby had a similar incident on Thursday. He woke up and was staring into space for about five minutes. He came to and went back to sleep shortly after. Another incident happened Friday. I was downstairs working on the dryer. Cleaned out a few pounds of lint. Dryer is still dead though. I heard a thump. Ran to find Kalen or Brad. He was out a few minutes. He was out for about 2 minutes. This is hard to take because I had epilepsy and seizures as a teen. Brad had seizures, starting at 4. He has not had one in years. Now, my baby has developed a genetic predisposition. Yay me. I am watching him more carefully now.