I read Why you drink and How to stop: Journey to freedom by Veronica Valli, in exchange for honest review from Tomoson.
Why I chose the book:I wanted to read the book because my family has a lot of drunks and alcoholics, who have no desire to stop drinking. I have seen my daddy and sister start drinking brandy at 8 am. my daddy, when he was temporarily living here, went through a bottle of brandy daily. Not the little bottle, but the humongous bottle.
For me, I have been tipsy before, but only been completely drunk once. Never again. Lesson learned. I went to a birthday party for someone, I knew and was having sex with. I drunk 2 small cups of Brandy-8 oz cups, plus one smirnoff. This was my first time drinking hard liquor. First time drinking dark liquor. I eventually passed out. I had to make a somewhat embarrassing call to my former sex partner to ask what other things happened while I spent the night. Needless to say, I didn't like what I heard and never got drunk again. Never touched hard or dark liquor again.
Willie C (my father) and other relatives have offered me dark liquor in the spirit of drinking. I had to decline. They don't need to know the real reasons why Brandy will never be my friend.
- The problem
- What drives people to drink
- The Solution
- Early stages of recovery
- Spiritual aspect of recovery
- Overcoming obstacles to recovery.
- Relationships and Sobriety (Part 1 and 11)
- Being your best self.
First, the author defined alcoholism in three phases: physical addiction; psychological craving and obsession; and spiritual illness. Alcoholics have a dependence on alcohol. Alcoholics also develop a tolerance to alcohol. Next, alcoholics use alcohol to numb pain and cope with emotions.
This sounded similar to when I was having sex. I wanted sex. I craved sex. I used people to get sex. I would get upset when I could not have sex. I used sex to numb pain and cope with my emotions. I was a mess on the inside. I became somewhat of an addict--a functioning addict because I still went to work and school.
Valli went on to discuss types of drinking behavior, such as heavy and binge. With the birthday party, I mentioned, I guess I was binge drinking, even though I had little to drink, but I was drinking hard liquor. My memories was hazy and I had to ask someone else about what I did that night.
Chapter 2 focused on the problem. Why does someone go from being a non-alcoholic to an alcoholic. For example, someone may be unhappy with their life and starts drinking. They may be emotionally immature. Each person has their own triggers, which causes them to start drinking and then move into alcoholism.
Chapter 3 focused on what drives people to drink. Valli discussed 3 reasons: fear, denial, and emotional unmanageability. Fear can cause people to do unhealthy things, such as drinking, doing drugs, having sex, and overeating. Next, denial is when we lie to ourselves. Forms of denial include hostility and rationalization. Finally, Valli discusses emotional unmanageability, "which causes us to For example, alcoholics may not can manage our finances or driving.
I liked reading the book. Valli speaks about alcoholism from a personal and professional perspective. The book is available in paperback and Kindle format
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